A Royal Child
by Phoenix of Starlight
Summary: Belphegor and Fran have a predicament - they found a teenaged boy amongst the destruction of an assignment, and now they haven't the slightest clue what to do with him. What's worse, this kid has an attitude, and it's really getting on everyone's nerves. Shounen-ai: B26, XS, 6918/1869, 10051. Tenth story in the 'A Royal-' series.
1. The Kid

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter One**

A/N: Holy cow~ The 'A Royal-' series has just hit the double digits! Haha! All right, everyone, welcome back! And new reviewers, welcome x 10, because this is the tenth story now in the 'A Royal-' series~ The stories in order are:

**A Royal Meeting, A Royal Winter, A Royal Spring, A Royal Summer, A Royal Fall, A Royal End, A Royal Encore, A Royal Return, A Royal Blackmail,** and at last, this one here is **A Royal Child**. The only consequences to not reading the others are confusion from references to past stories!

One last thing! I know I haven't done this in a long time, and there's not much point in me doing it now, but-

This is yaoi/shounen-ai/boyxboy, don't like, don't read!  
I do not own KHR, but so help me, if I did, this series wouldn't just be a fanfiction. Ha!

* * *

"Bel."

"Nn..."

"Bel, wake up," Fran muttered, nudging the prince. Belphegor yawned, his blood-red eyes cracking open in a glare.

"The prince was dreaming," he mumbled.

"Sorry, senpai. But we're here, and I figured a good round of killing would get you all excited, so-"

_"Yay!"_ Bel said, grinning widely now. "Let's go!"

"Yeah, just don't get blood all over that jacket - I just washed it," Fran muttered as he got out of the car. "And don't stab me while you're on your blood-high, either. I hate it when you do that."

"Ushishishi~ No worries, Froggy. Tell you what, you handle downstairs, and I'll handle upstairs. That way, we won't get in each other's way."

"We're _supposed_ to be working _together_," Fran sighed.

"Yeah! Working together not to kill each other! Sounds great, right? The prince is a genius, right?" Bel laughed. The illusionist facepalmed.

"Sure, senpai. Whatever tilts your tiara."

Still giggling madly, the prince started towards the headquarters of the base that he and Fran were to take down, before he suddenly ran in, and the illusionist started after him. Almost immediately, the building became a small, confined battlefield. The moment Bel was upstairs, Fran concentrated, muttered the spell-like words of his special technique before his hand transformed into a dragon - one which he was rather proud to weild.

Meanwhile, Belphegor was taking out the enemies upstairs, laughing insanely as each one became a 'cactus.' It was a matter of seconds before he, the prodigy of the Varia, was finished. And as the last one fell, the prince giggled and sat down in a swivel chair, spinning childishly around in it as he listened to the pained shouts from where Fran was working. "Ushishishishi~," he giggled. "Froggy's so epic..."

Just then, there was the sound of crinkling paper among the yells, and Belphegor leapt back to his feet, knives at the ready. But the one standing before him wasn't some super-dangerous man, but a child - possibly just getting into their teen years. The boy had bright blond, almost white hair that stuck up a bit and covered one eye slightly. His eyes were an amber color a lot like those of a Deathperate Tsunayoshi, and perched on his nose were a pair of frameless glasses. His skin was a ghostly pale, and his small form clearly didn't hold much power. "Who're you?" Bel muttered. "We were told not to take prisoners, but if you're just some kid..."

"I'm not just _'some kid,'"_ the other growled indignantly. "They killed my parents. I'm glad they finally got their retribution."

"... Ushishi~ you kinda remind me of my teen years," Belphegor giggled, sitting back down. "How old are you?"

"Twelve... maybe fourteen, I don't really know. No calenders here," the kid muttered. "Wish I was older. Then, maybe, I could've handled these jerks on my own." Belphegor giggled again, before noticing that downstairs had become awfully quiet. He hopped back over to the staircase.

"Froggy?" he called. "You done?"

"Yeah, you?" came the reply.

"Um... yeah!" Bel said. "... Just a sec!" He then turned back to the somewhat morbid almost-teenager. "You wanna hang with us, kid?" he asked with his signature grin.

"... Sure. Nothin' better t'do," they sighed.

"What's your name?" Bel asked.

"Andrew," the kid answered. "But I prefer my nickname - Spark. Because I have Lightning-class flames."

"Oh~ You know about flames? Ushishishi! You're going to be accepted _right_ from the start. Maybe you can redeem Lightnings for us, too, cause we don't have the best," Belphegor laughed. The two reached the bottom of the stairs, and Fran gaped at the sight.

"Bel," he sighed. "Who's this?"

"Spark's his name," Bel said. "He was being held captive by these guys."

"Senpai, you know we don't take prisoners," Fran protested. "And this just some kid!"

"I'm not 'some kid'!" Spark protested. "Stop saying that!"

"He's not _that_ bad," Bel snickered. "And remember, you were thirteen when Mukuro took you in."

The illusionist blushed. "That has nothing to do with it! We're Varia! A kid wouldn't last ten seconds in-"

"I wasn't even fifteen when I went on my first assignment," Bel added.

"Well, sure, but you're an exception... Squalo and boss would never allow-"

"What about Mammon?"

"All right, shut up," Fran snapped. "Fine. We'll take him back, but you better keep a close eye on the kid, all right?"

"I have a name," Spark muttered.

"You be quiet, we just saved your life," the illusionist added.

"Pfft, yeah right," the boy sneered, sticking out his tongue.

"Let's go," Fran sighed, walking back towards the car.

"Ushishishi~ Yay!" Belphegor cheered. "C'mon, Spark!"

"Yeah, whatever," the kid sighed, trailing along after the prince. "It's not like I've got anywhere better to go." Fran slipped into the driver's seat, a very uncharacteristic frown on his face.

"Boss is going to shoot you," he said to his lover.

"You'd never let that happen," Bel giggled.

"Shut up."

* * *

"What the hell...?" Xanxus sighed as the three males walked into the dining room. "We don't take prisoners."

"We know that," Belphegor and Fran said at the same time.

"So then why the kid?" the boss asked.

"You people suck," Spark muttered, leaning against a wall. "Who're you anyway?"

"Who am _I?_ Huh, you trash should enlighten the kid trash before bringing it to the battlefield," Xanxus muttered. "We're assassins. We don't take care of kids."

"Sounds like a personal problem, grandpa, I can handle myself," the kid answered, sticking out his tongue. The boss immediately pulled out a pistol, before Lussuria rushed in and restrained him.

"Calm _down_, boss!" the Sun cried. "It's our fault that the poor dear doesn't have a place to go to - we may as well take care of him until we know what to do with him!"

Xanxus took a few moments, before sighing. "Fine. But only because it reminds me of Squalo." With that, the boss stood and left, and Spark looked up at Bel.

"Mind telling him to stop calling me an 'it'?" he asked.

"No~ The prince finds it amusing," the prince giggled.

"Senpai," Fran groaned. "What have you gotten us into? This is just like the time you took in the marshmallow. I'll bet we have to share a room with the kid now, too."

It dawned on Belphegor exactly what it meant to share a room again, and he bit his lip. "Maybe I should have thought about the consequences more."

"No kidding?" the illusionist muttered, before heading to the table. "Luss, where's the skylark-pineapple couple?"

"They went out on a date, why?" the Varia's mother questioned.

"Well, the pineapple raised me," Fran mumbled. "I guess he could try to take care of this guy too, right?"

"Fran, take some responsibility," Lussuria said, folding his arms. "Don't try to push off your child on to a parent figure - that's horrible!"

"What?! Oh, come on! Don't go labling the kid as _mine!"_ Fran complained. "I don't even have the respect to call him by his name!"

"Learn how to grow respect, then," Lussuria clucked, before dismissing the Mist as he disappeared back into the kitchen. Fran groaned.

"Great," he spat. "There goes the last, tiny, sad little drop of man pride I had left. I've had it stripped away piece by piece for years, and now, Bel-senpai, you've cleared off the last of it."

"Ushishi! Cheer up, Froggy," Bel giggled. "Least I call you prince, not princess, right?"

"So what, _exactly_, is going on here?" Spark asked. Prince and frog glanced back at him.

"Look, kid, for your own good, you should assume that everyone in this base is homosexual," Fran said seriously. "But don't worry. We'll protect you from the troll under the bridge."

"And by that, he means the trashy trash~!" called Lussuria from the kitchen.

"In other words, this creepy dude with piercings," Belphegor said. "He looks kind of like a cross between a warthog and a towel rack."

"I'm standing right here," said Levi from the far corner of the room, before the author ignored him.

"But you don't need to worry about him, because if there's one thing everyone has in common, it's a hate for that dude," Fran said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. "Even he himself has it in common with us, but he's too _uncool_ to admit it."

"Which is why we avoid him," Belphegor said. "And now you know everything you need to in order to survive here!"

"No, senpai," Fran castigated, "there's much more he needs to learn."

And thus began a rather long introduction and tour to all aspects of the Varia.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

Sorry about the OC, everyone! Please don't kill meh~! But since he's a kid, and the Varia are rapidly approaching their thirties (Squ, Xan, Luss and Lev are already in them, I think), he won't be paired with anyone - promise. Thank you again to **Love Cronical** for the suggestion~ I hope you enjoy!

Review or be bitten to death~!


	2. Introductions Part 1

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Two**

* * *

Introductions - one of the only things keeping the art of conversation alive to this day.

It's an art form, a skill, and a bonding activity. Two people, engaging in heart-to-heart speech of who they are, where they come from, and what they like. It provokes intrest, and even budding romance between some.

But _not_ when it came to Belphegor and Fran.

"Right, so my name is Belphegor," the prince said. "You may address me as 'prince' or 'senpai,' but no matter how much fun it is, do _not _call me 'prince trash,' even though other people have a tendency to do so."

"And I'm Fran, even though this idiot makes it sound like my name is 'Froggy' all the time," Fran said. "Froggy is a pet name - Belphegor access only. You call me Fran or the King Magician."

"Uhh... okay," Spark sighed.

"Where should we start from there?" Fran asked. "Training halls? Boss?"

"I think we should show him the fastest route from our bedroom to the dining hall," Belphegor replied. "That way, under perfect conditions, he'd at least be able to find food."

"Hm," Fran hummed. "Yeah, I guess," he answered, "let's go." The three took the route from Bel and Fran's room back to the dining room. "Right, so our general cook is Lussuria, he's that extremely flamboyant guy you met earlier. He's... weird... but you get used to him. Kind of like a pimple. It bugs you at first, but after trying every possible way to get it off of your face, you learn to live with it. Maybe you even give it a pet name."

"Mister sunshine, in this context," Belphegor giggled.

"We don't use that one so much anymore," the illusionist sighed. "It's more 'Mother Luss' now, just to make him shut up."

"Blehh, I just say Luss," Bel said.

"So... he's a pimple?" Spark questioned, looking perplexed.

_"Precisely!"_ the Storm said with a grin.

"WHAT?!" came a loud shriek from beside the three just before they entered the dining room.

Belphegor and Fran turned, simultaneously saying, "Hi, Luss." The Sun guardian rolled his eyes.

"In all honesty, Bel and Fran-chan, I can't help but wonder what on earth has gotten into you two! Teaching a child to address me in such a way... you should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"Well, we aren't," Fran answered with a shrug.

"That's a pity," Lussuria clucked, before pushing past them into the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready at...," he paused, then said, "Five, because now we have a child to take care of now."

"I'm actually used to it at eight," Spark sighed. "Do you think I'm ten?"

"Even if he did, he really wouldn't be far off the mark," Fran commented. The white-haired male stuck his tongue out at him. "All right, wisea- er... _guy_... We have a lot of time, so let's have you meet some of the others..."

"Who next?" Bel asked with an excited bounce.

"Boss, Squalo...," Fran said. "With any luck, fish-face will like him. Then boss will like him, too."

"Yeah, 'cause Squalo _loves _kids," Belphegor giggled.

"Well that wasn't an obvious amount of sarcasm," Fran sighed. "Let's go."

The three started back towards their room, turning in towards a beaten up door eventually. "Boss? Squ? Are ya decent right now?"

The door slammed open, inadvertantly smacking Belphegor across the face. **"VOOOI!** WHADDAYA WANT, BABIES?!" he shouted, clearly having just woken up from a nap.

"We came to introduce you to the Varia's new kid," Bel giggled as he stood back up. "Squ, Spark. Spark, Squ."

"MY NAME ISN'T 'SQU,' YOU BRAT!" Squalo screamed. "IT'S _FREAKING_ SUPERBI SQUALO!"

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Mister _Freaking_ Superbi Squalo," Spark said, cocking his head slightly.

"He kinda takes after you, Froggy," Belphegor giggled. The illusionist sighed.

"Don't go there, idiotic-prince-senpai."

"... Why the kid?!" Squalo questioned, taking a sudden notice in Spark. "You know we don't take pri-"

"Yeah, yeah, save the speech," Fran said. "So Spark, Squalo here is both the boss's right hand man and friend with few benefits. The very definition of 'nagging wife.' He-"

**"WHAT THE HELL?!"** the rain screamed. **"NO!** Fran, dammit, I'm boss's **LOVER!"**

"Lover, friend with few benefits, same thing," Belphegor defended his frog. "Where's boss?"

"SLEEPING," Squalo said in a firm voice.

"Not any more...," came an irritated mutter from inside. "Get in here, shark trash. I don't care or want to know about the kid."

"Right, so that's our boss," Bel giggled. "He's the epitome of laziness."

"That's actually you, senpai," Fran said. "Boss is... the epitome of an angry drunk guy."

"GET OUT!" Squalo screamed, before slamming the door shut.

"Who next? This is fun!" the prince laughed.

"Oooh, let's go show him to the marshmallow," Fran said. "Byakuran will be all over having a new member of the albino club."

"I'm not albino," Spark commented.

"Neither's Squ, but we call him part of it," the Mist answered. The three once more started on their way, this time going to the room three doors down from their own on the right. Lussuria's room.

_Knock knock knock!_

"You in there, marshmallow?" Fran asked.

The door opened, and Byakuran looked at Bel, then Fran, then Spark, before saying, "Aha! I _knew _Fran was secretly a girl!"

"Wait- what?! No! What the he...ck?" Fran said. "I think you'd tell if by some _insanity_ I became pregnant!"

"Heehee! Just kidding," Byakuran said, before kneeling down. "You like ice cream?" he asked.

"... I guess?" Spark answered.

"Good. You're a good kid," Byakuran announced.

"Byakuran here is an escapee from Vindicere, a prison for us crazy Mafia people," Fran said. "Belphegor decided to be an idiot and let him in, so after a very confusing series of events, he's now freeloading here."

"Fufu, don't say that!" Byakuran giggled. "Don't want the kid to be afraid of me~"

"Don't worry," Spark said. "I'm definitely _not_."

Byakuran grew dark. "You sure?"

"... Yeah."

Once more, the albino lit up. "Fufu~ Smart kid. Once Shou-chan gets out of the shower, he'll want to meet... Hey, what'd you say your name was?"

"Ah... Andrew, but... just call me Spark," the boy said with a smile.

"So cute," Byakuran giggled, ruffling Spark's hair.

"Just wait," Fran said. "He's a jerk just waiting for the chance to pounce."

"Don't be so uptight, Fran!" Byakuran scolded. "Kids rule!"

"Yeah, sure," Fran said, rolling his eyes. "Just like how senpai doesn't snore." Belphegor pouted.

Things were going well, but introductions were only half over.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

Gah, this late upload, and it's only HALF of the part!

With luck, I'll be able to write the second part this weekend, too... but it'll take a whole lot of encouragement!

Review for humiliating introductions to the rest of the characters!


	3. Introductions Part 2

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Three**

* * *

"Who next?" Bel asked with an excited bounce. Fran shrugged.

"May as well show him trashy trash again," he sighed. "Just to make certain he knows not to get tangled up with him."

"Good point," Belphegor answered, giving his lover a lopsided grin. The two young Varia dragged Spark along to a room that was almost literally _oozing_ dark matter, and Belphegor used a knife to scratch his and Fran's initials into the door as he said, "So... Levi is a real jerk. He makes fruit flies look more human."

"Dude, I would rather marry a fruit fly than suffer looking at Levi's face for longer than a minute," Fran said, before eventually adding, "... if I wasn't already married, of course."

"Ushishishishi! The prince would rather stick his head in an alligator's mouth than poke Levi's mustache!" Bel announced.

The door creaked open. "Any particular reason you're...," Leviathan's voice seemed to drift off into distant nonsense as Belphegor, Fran and Spark processed it. It was like he was speaking a foreign language - no, not even intelligent enough to be such a thing. It was just plain, garbled speech. Unrecognizable, unusual, _inhuman_...

_'Blah blah blah blah blah...'_

_'Blah blah...'_

_'Blah blah blah.'_

... Fascinating.

It's as if he _actually_ thinks he's making sense.

"Wow, I see what you mean," Spark said. "I'd rather jump off a cliff into a snake pit than have to put up with this guy."

"That's our little prodigy!" Belphegor announced. "On to the pineapplistic cannibal couple!"

"Yeah, let's go," Fran said, starting away. The three continued on until they had reached Mukuro and Hibari's room, and Belphegor was the only one brave enough to knock. The door promptly slammed open, yet again smacking the prince across the face.

"I knew it!" Hibari hissed. "I can sense you guys from miles away, and I just knew you were on your way to annoy... us...?" He stepped out of the room, and knelt down to examine Spark, an oddly calculating look in his steely gray eyes.

There was a long pause, time droning on in deathly silence until finally, something amazing happened. It was as rare as a four-leafed clover in the desert. A miracle, even.

_"Hn."_

A sound of approval from Hibari Kyoya.

The former prefect stood up straight again. "So, anyone going to explain why there's a young man out here?"

"Finally, someone says 'young man,' and not 'some kid!'" Spark sighed. "They took me after finding me during one of their assignments."

"I see," Hibari said. "Now tell me. What were your grades in school?"

"Grades? Well, I haven't gotten the opportunity to go to school since I was like... nine, but, I was mostly A's and high B's." The ravenette nodded.

"Did you get detentions?"

"Nah, if I did something bad, I didn't do it at school. That'd just be dumb."

"Did you respect the prefect committee?" Hibari asked - the final question.

"To 'n extent," Spark replied. "Their position was okay. Just wish they'd been more disciplined themselves." Hibari gave an affirmative nod.

"Good," he said. Mukuro walked over to the prefect and peered over his shoulder, giving a hum of confusion when he saw Spark.

_"Woah!"_ Spark laughed at the sight of Mukuro. "Who let the Hawaiian fruitcake join the party?"

_SLAM._

The door slammed shut so hard Belphegor narrowly avoided decapitation by it, and he turned back to Spark with a look of wonder. "Wow, none of us have gotten that close to being acquainted to the cannibalistic skylark before!" he said. "That was awesome!"

"But ultimately, none of us can do it...," Fran sighed. "It's just too impossible."

"He's so antisocial," Bel sighed. "So Spark, Hibari Kyoya is the former prefect of Namimori Middle school! He's egotistical, self-centered, and his favorite food is pineapple!"

"Mukuro happens to be a pineapple, so you can imagine why they got together," Fran added.

"Hibari's catchphrase being 'I'll bite you to death,' and then Mukuro has a vampire fetish...," Bel continued.

"I could've sworn I saw him reading Vampire Knight - which Phoenix of Starlight does _not_ own - the other day," Fran said.

"Huh?" Bel answered.

"What?"

Awkward pause.

"Who should we see next?" Fran asked.

"Ooh! Let's go see Monta!"

"Mammon? Yeah, we've been ignoring him lately, so may as well," Fran agreed.

As the three came up to the door to Mammon's room, Spark asked, "So if you're an assassination squad, are you guys just a branch-off of something bigger?"

"Ushishi~ Sorta!" Bel answered. "The main branch of the Vongola is in Giappone!"

"Japan, huh? All right...," Spark considered as the prince knocked on Mammon's door. The door almost immediately opened, and Mink flashed out of it and perched on Bel's shoulder.

"Oh~? Haven't seen you in a long time, little guy," Bel giggled, petting his box weapon's head. "Monta~ Prince wants to show you something!"

"If it's another humiliating ice cream sculpture of me, I'm going to...," Mammon drifted off as he saw the kid. "Man, if you were going to adopt, couldn't it be someone smaller than me? You know, 'cause this is a huge blow to my self-esteem."

"Mammon here is the tiniest illusionist in the world," Fran said. "He does have a temper though, so beware. Also, he watches soap opera with Lussuria."

The door was promptly closed in their faces.

"... See what I mean?" Fran said.

"I s'pose," Spark agreed. The three started back towards Bel and Fran's room, only to have Byakuran pounce out in front of them. "There he is, Shou-chan~!" he announced, pointing to Spark. Shouichi smiled.

"Huh, I thought you were pulling my leg when you said there was a kid here...," he considered. "Nice to meet you, Spark."

"Nice to meet you too, Glasses," Spark agreed, taking his hand and shaking it.

"Fufufu~ Now, off to eat dessert!" Byakuran said, grabbing Shouichi's arm and suddenly running off. "Let's go, cupcake!"

"Dessert? Isn't it only four?" Spark questioned.

"Yeah, so _them_...," Fran began as the two left, ignoring the boy's question. "Byakuran's pet name for Shouichi varies between desserts of all sorts. 'Cupcake,' 'marshmallow,' 'candy cane,' 'muffin,' 'gumdrop,' 'sugar,' and when he's feeling really ambitious, 'honey.'"

"If Byakuran lived in his own house, it would be a gingerbread one," Belphegor said.

"And Shouichi is just his little pet," the illusionist added. "Shouichi sticks to him like a lap dog, and even though he sometimes denies having feelings for Byakuran, he's pretty dang obvious."

"They both are, they even discuss marriage at times," Bel said. "Though, I think Hibari and Mukuro are going to beat them to it."

"Oh, definitely," Fran agreed. "Mukuro caught the bouquet at Squ and Xan's wedding, remember?"

"Ushishi, yup!"

"Wait, so you guys do full-on weddings?" Spark said. "Bouquets, dresses, and everything?"

"Yeah!" Bel said. "Uke voices, too! Have someone in mind?"

"Ha, no," the boy snickered.

"So what do we do now?" Fran wondered aloud.

"... Guess we should find him a box weapon and start training," Bel replied.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

Gahhh, High School really is a busy time... D: Sorry everyone! I'm on break, though my schedule is packed with projects... I'm starting to wonder if I'll have to drop to doing once every two weeks regularly...

Review in hopes that it doesn't happen! D:


	4. Salamandra Fulmine

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Four**

* * *

"All right, so this is the training room!" Belphegor announced, throwing his arms wide open in a dramatic gesture as they stepped into the room that stored weapons. "Maaaan, it's _dusty_ in here!" the prince proclaimed as he skipped inside. "Last time I was in here, I was playing hide-and-seek with Monta."

"Fascinating," Fran sighed with a roll of his eyes. "What are we going to give Spark that he can't kill us with?"

"Why would I kill you?" Spark questioned, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Froggy. Why would he kill us?" Bel repeated.

"Why? I dunno. But us being assassins, it would be a bit hypocritical of us to trust him completely, don't you think?"

"No," Bel answered with a pout. "C'mon, Froggy, I was psychotic, and I didn't kill anyone in the Varia!"

"Two reasons for that," Fran said, holding up two fingers for emphasis as he explained, "reason one, they were stronger than you, and reason two, they fed you."

"Well, I guess that's true, but those apply to Spark, too!" the prince pointed out. "C'mon, Sparky, let's get you a weapon!"

"Don't call me that," the young male muttered, following Bel further into the room. He looked along the rows on rows of identical boxes. "How on earth do you tell all of these apart?" he asked.

Bel picked up one of the boxes, and turned it over, pointing to the bottom. "Read this," he said.

"... 'Made in China'...," Spark read.

"Not that part, the other part!" Bel said.

"... Rain-class swordfish," the boy finally read. "All right, then. So we need to find something Lightning-class?"

"Exactly!" Bel pronounced, starting to go through boxes.

The three searched for a while, Bel and Fran putting back boxes that they knew would be too strong for the boy, when Fran suddenly spoke up. "This is perfect!" he said. _"Salamandra fulmine!"_

"A Lightning-class salamander? Thanks, but no thanks," Spark muttered. "Can't I go with the wildebeest?"

"Wildebeest?" Bel repeated. "Ushishishishishi! No way, Sparky, you'll destroy the base!"

Spark rolled his eyes. "I don't want a newt."

"It's not a newt!" Fran protested, grabbing the wildebeest weapon from Spark and placing the salamander in his hand. "C'mon, let's go back to the training hall." Belphegor and Fran pushed Spark back into the training hall, and locked the door behind them. "You can't leave until you give the salamander a chance!" Fran announced.

"Yeah! And you have to name him, too," Bel agreed.

"Name him? Salamander is good enough," Spark muttered.

"No it's not," Fran protested. "Bel can pull that off with Mink, cause Mink is tough. You have a small, lizard-thing. Calling him salamander would be like insulting him further. You don't want him to get depressed."

"Yeah, name him something like... the _Magic_ Salamander!"

"No," Spark immediately said. "That is _definitely_ _not_ happening."

"Man, is this how everyone felt when I was going through my rebellious phase?" Fran asked his lover. Bel giggled.

"You have no idea, Froggy."

Spark stood in silence as the two talked, eventually deciding on his name. "Flash."

Mist and Storm looked at Lightning in confusion. "Flash?" they repeated.

"A spark in a forest could create a flash wildfire," Spark explained. "In other words, you encounter me in battle, and you'll get a flash fire on your face."

"Wow, Froggy, he's a LOT like you," Bel giggled, before pouting. "He must have decent IQ... which means he won't do stupid things with us."

"Senpai, it doesn't matter how smart you are. Everyone does stupid things regardless," Fran replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "Don't judge a person by their smartness! Now, let's get to training. Spark, first light-"

"I don't have a ring," the white-haired male interrupted.

Fran groaned, before leaving the training hall, snatching a Lightning ring from Levi. After washing both his hands and the ring thoroughly - about fifty times - he returned to the room, and placed the ring in Spark's hand. "First, light your flames," the illusionist said.

Spark closed his eyes in concentration, and Lightning-class flames soon sprung up on his ring. He quickly punched the flames into the opening in the box, and from it shot a fire salamander, black-skinned creature with several orange spots, its feet and tail alight with crackling flames. "There is a serious mismatch between this animal and the flame," Spark muttered.

"Ushishi! He's cute!" Bel announced. "The prince approves - this will be your box weapon, Spark!"

The younger male sighed, before leaning over. "Well, I suppose I can't judge entirely until I see what he can do," the young male sighed, reaching a hand out to the salamander. "Hey, Flash. Do something violent."

The weapon simply looked at him in confusion, and Fran chuckled. "Well, I guess he doesn't like you. Wanna try the wildebeest?"

"Jeez, I gotta give him a chance, remember?" Spark protested. Fran winked at Bel, elbowing his arm and mouthing 'reverse psychology,' but Bel didn't really catch the drift, instead just awkwardly winking and returning the nudge.

"Ah-!"

The two Varia glanced at the younger male to see that he had touched Flash's nose and the salamander's flames had suddenly swelled. "There we go," Spark said as the thing slowly crawled into his hand.

"Lightning-class flames have the hard factor," Fran said. "If you could maybe... throw him, then he'd be _really_ useful."

"I'm not gonna throw him!" Spark protested, picking up the salamander. He glanced up at one of the small targets on the near ceiling, and pointed to it. "There. Hit that."

"... Dude, you have no conviction," Belphegor said, "I'm gonna go get Mink. Be right back." As Belphegor left for Mammon's room, Fran heaved a sigh.

"You know, Spark, being as young as you are and knowing about flames... that's kind of a big deal. Who taught you?"

The silver-haired boy seemed to tense, and he glanced back at Fran, his amber gaze glinting beneath his glasses. "... My adopted family...," he said, his voice suddenly edged.

Fran cocked his head. "Adopted family? You mean the people you were with before you got stuck with those jerks? I thought they were killed."

"My biological parents were killed by 'those jerks,' and then my adopted family took me in. That's when I got kidnapped." Fran nodded, before realizing something.

"Don't you want to go back to them?"

"... I don't think they remember me," Spark replied. "I mean... they probably think I'm dead. After all, none of them made an attempt to bring me back..."

Although he strongly disagreed, Fran only gave another silent nod.

"Woohoo!" came a sudden shout from the door as a white and red blur raced into the room and perched on Spark's shoulders.

"Wah! Don't do that!" Spark protested after he'd stumbled rather ungracefully to the ground.

"_Grarrrr!"_ hissed Mink, and Spark tensed when he realized that it was directed at the box weapon in his hands.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Fran and Belphegor began to chant.

"What? No!" Spark complained. "Flash wouldn't last fifteen seconds against this thing!"

_"Fsss..."_

Everything grew quiet as the people within the room listened to the quiet, almost inaudible hiss of the salamander, before Belphegor laughed manically, clutching his stomach. "Looks like you don't have a say in this one, Spark! It's a fight!"

"Wait-"

Suddenly, Mink had attacked the salamander, and the two of them were scuffling about, the Lightning barely avoiding the Storm class flames and never getting in an attack, hard as it tried. Abruptly, something surprising happened. The salamander's tail snapped off, and it scurried away, leaving Mink to play with the discarded appendage. Mink could hardly touch the tail, the hard-factor of Lightning flames making it nearly unbreakable, when suddenly, Flash's tail regrew, and the discarded one turned into a second salamander. Suddenly, Mink was outnumbered, but still not outdone.

"Dude - that thing must have some Sun flames in it, too, or something," Fran said, glancing at Bel.

"I hope so. I mean, would they really make a weapon as useless as a salamander that can't even do anything?" the prince giggled, to which Fran shrugged.

Spark glanced at the now two salamanders, shocked. The second one seemed to be a little weaker, but that hardly mattered to him. What he'd just witnessed reminded him of his adopted family... of his adopted older brother...

Mink backed away from the Lightning class weapons and suddenly sat down, grooming itself as if none of the fight had occured. The salamanders were left surprised, but soon moved back to Spark, the duplicate vanishing to leave the original. Spark took out the box, letting Flash return to it, before standing.

"You know, Spark, your character is really cliche," Fran said. "The delinquent with a soft spot for animals - heck, we even see that here with skylark-san!"

"Ushishi~ But Froggy, the cliches are _fun!"_

Spark rolled his eyes. "Have any other plans for today?" he asked.

"Uh... not particularly," Fran noted. "You wanna go bug Luss?"

Bel nodded. "Mm hm. It's time for my before-mid-afternoon-but-after-lunch snack... I think."

Spark and Fran both facepalmed, before the three headed back for the kitchen.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

OTL I apologize profusely for all this absence! I'm starting to learn the true horrors of school... Finals are this upcoming week, and I've had huge projects due in the past week... Aside from the homework, I've had other distractions...

Well, I must say, reviewing - and not just in the many, but LONG reviews - make me write much faster. So please take that time, and I'll try to push through finals to give you more content!

**Review for faster updates!**


	5. A Skylarks Birthday Brings Havoc

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Five**

* * *

("How are things going?")

"Good...," Spark murmured. "Everything's going as you ordered..."

("Wonderful... Are you getting close to him?")

"No... he's a bit... distracted. Everyone here has a lover. It's a bit annoying."

("Now, now, Andrew Spark, just grin and bear it.")

"I have been," Spark sighed. "The Storm and Mist guardians are _really_ annoying."

("Everything is annoying with you, boy. Do you have their trust?")

"I guess..."

("Are you gathering information?")

"Constantly," the white-haired boy said. "That's the one thing you don't need to worry about at all."

("Good. Now, remember the plan. And don't get attached to any of the Varia.")

"I won't - don't worry, Father."

("All right. I'm proud of you, Andrew. Goodbye, now.")

"Later." Spark closed his phone and sighed, tucking it into a drawer of the nightstand. He'd been living at Varia headquarters now for two months. It was the morning of May fifth, the day before his first mission as an official Lightning-class member of the Varia. He wasn't necessarily bouncing off the walls, but he could admit to being a little excited.

"Spark!" came Fran's voice with a knock on the door. "Get up and come out here! We told you you had to come out early, didn't we? It's skylark-san's birthday, remember?" Spark sighed, sliding out of bed and walking over to the closet, taking out his Varia uniform, while calling to the Mist that he'd be right out. He pulled on his clothes, before grabbing his box weapon, perching his glasses on his nose before he left the room. "It's about time! Sheesh, party crasher," Fran muttered. "What were you doing that was so important?"

"... Sleeping," Spark lied.

Rolling his eyes, the illusionist said, "Look, at this point, I think it's fair to say that we're monotone buddies, right? So I think you should be more of a team player, even if it doesn't seem like you are. Know what I'm saying?" Spark shook his head, and the Mist guardian heaved another sigh. "Spark, you're a Varia now. In this context, rank doesn't matter. You could eventually succeed Levi as Lightning guardian - wouldn't that be epic? I mean, every group needs a flaw, and Levi's ours. But that doesn't mean he needs to hold a high rank, right? We can still beat him up if he's a grunt. If you became the next Lightning guardian, life would be a lot happier. But you're gonna have to commit."

_'Blah blah blah,'_ Spark thought with a roll of his eyes._ 'Just like every other morning. And we get to this over a stupid surprise birthday party.'_ Fran glanced at the younger male, concern flickering in the teal eyes at the younger's silence.

"You okay, kid? Upset stomach?"

"Tired," the Lightning mumbled.

Fran patted his back. "Don't worry. We'll give you some cake. That'll help." The two headed into the dining room, Fran facepalming when Belphegor leapt out and shouted 'surprise.' "Senpai, go hide, it's just us!"

"Ushishishishishi~ I know," Bel giggled, giving a small squirm in his place. "I just couldn't hold it in any longer! The cannibal takes too long!"

"Well, get down!" Fran protested, walking over to the prince and crouching down behind him. "Jeez."

It wasn't long before Hibari walked in, when the real shout of _'SURPRISE!'_ (greatly enhanced by Squalo) was really pulled off. The skylark nearly had a heart attack, taking his tonfas out and promptly slamming them into Bel's stomach. The prince went down with both a groan and a grin.

"We made you a cake!" Fran announced, indicating to a rather tall cake with pineapple and bird adornments.

"I don't eat sweet things," Hibari muttered.

"Even me?" came a voice from inside the cake. The dessert promptly exploded as Mukuro leapt out of it, Hibari twirling his steel weapons to prevent getting covered in frosting. Mukuro struck a pose, his topless chest exposed for all to see as he said, "Come now, Kyoya, don't you want some of this?"

While the skylark's cheeks were painted pink, he didn't give Mukuro the response he wanted, instead folding his arms and muttering, "You look ridiculous."

"Not 'ridiculous,' Kyouya!" Mukuro protested. "'Cherry-flavored!'"

"Except you're a pineapple," the former prefect sighed. "I don't do celebrations on my birthday. Get out of the cake."

"But you haven't even blown out the candle yet, Kyouya!" the illusionist pressed, tying a candle around his forehead and asking for a match which Fran was glad to give.

"Not happening," Hibari said, walking forward and going to grab the match, when Squalo knocked the table over, causing both the cake and Mukuro to land on Hibari. Bel furthered the chaos even more by throwing sprinkles into the air, and Fran encouraged Spark to dump a bucket of molten ice cream on the couple, something he was all too glad to do.

"Gah-! What the _hell?!"_ Hibari choked out as he was swamped by various desserts and his lover. "It's like you're trying to please some fangirl crowd that I can't see, and it's annoying! I'll bite you to death! _All_ of you!"

"Fufufu! Hey, do this on my birthday, too, okay?" Byakuran requested as he started to throw marshmallows into the air, Shouichi awkwardly adjusting his glasses.

"Gladly!" Bel announced. "Actually, I'd like to see Froggy come out of an-"

"No, senpai," Fran sighed.

"... ice cream cone...," the prince finished with a pout.

Mukuro chuckled, sitting up, and bringing his lover back up into a sitting position as well. "Happy birthday, Kyouya," he announced, ice cream dripping into his face.

"Get off...," the ravenette muttered, trying to shake the cake crumbs out of his hair. "Ugh, you all suck..."

"Kufufufu~ I thought it was quite fun," Mukuro chuckled.

"Fun for you, maybe," Hibari muttered. "But I know that you're going to make ME wash out all of the ice cream in your hair."

"I'll return the favor," Mukuro said with a pout, before swiping a finger across Hibari's cheek and licking it.

"All right, all right, keep it G rated, everyone," Fran said. "If you want to head back to your room now, go ah-"

Hibari was gone within the second, Mukuro scrambling to follow after him, and the result was a very awkward silence.

"So... Luss... you're gonna clean this up, right?" Fran asked, indicating to the sugary mess left behind.

"Ushishishi! Leave it to me and the marshmallow!" Bel announced, starting to go after it, but Fran held him back. "No way, senpai! That stuffs been on a pineapple and a skyark! You don't want any of that - when was the last time they showered, anyway?!"

Bel balked, face paling. "... _Eww_. You're right."

"No worries, dearies~!" Lussuria cooed. "I can clean up, and then I'll make another cake. Bel, I know how hard you tried to not eat any of the desserts!"

"Luss," Fran interrupted. "We had like... twice of this stuff before Hibari came in. Bel didn't fight the urge like you wanted."

"I'm weak!" the prince cried, hiding his face in his hands. "WEEEAAAK!"

"Aww, poor Bel!" the Sun guardian gushed. "I'll make you another dessert anyway!"

"Thanks, mama Luss!" Bel giggled manically. Lussuria squealed and went into the kitchen, glad to be called 'mama Luss,' and Fran groaned, glancing at his lover.

"You're such a manipulative bastard," he muttered.

"But you still love me, right?" Bel asked.

"Of course. But like hell I'm gonna show it after all of that," Fran said. "Maniacal fallen idiotic-prince-senpai."

Belphegor pouted, then promptly threw sprinkles at the illusionist, who immediately started running. "No!" he shouted. "I will not be used as a sugar-coated fanservice character! That's the pineapple's job!"

Laughing madly, Belphegor chased him out of the room.

Spark watched them leave, then adjusted his glasses with a small sigh.

"Hey, kid," Xanxus suddenly spoke, walking over to the boy. "Come here. I want to talk with you."

"Uh, okay...," the white-haired male sighed, following Xanxus out of the room. As he walked behind the boss of the Varia, he couldn't help but feel nervous. After all, regardless of his attitude, he was scared of the boss, who he'd seen get mad on several occasions... and if Xanxus had heard the phone call he'd made earlier...

Spark shuddered, not wanting to think about it.

"Listen, kid...," Xanxus sighed, not looking at the boy. "You've been here a few months... and it's nice to see you growing and developing, which is why I think it's time to take your training to the next level."

"I thought that the 'next level' would be the mission that I have tomorrow, Xan- er, boss," Spark pointed out.

"No. That would be skipping a step," Xanxus said, continuing to make his way further down towards the entrance of the headquarters.

"Well then... what's the next level, boss?" Spark questioned. Xanxus looked at him with a faint grin, and Spark paled slightly, not so happy to see such a higher-level man smiling.

"Spending time with the boss," he answered, turning back towards the headquarters entrance. "I've spent a considerable amount of time with each of my guardians. The idiot prince and I used to train together to develop strategy... frog trash and I just talk on the occasion... Luss used to give me romantic advice, but don't tell anyone that or I'll shoot you. Mammon and I used to discuss profits regularly, Levi just beat people up for me... Squalo approached me a long time ago... we knew each other in school."

Biting back the urge to ask if Xanxus actually went to school, Spark answered, "So... why are you... going to hang out with me?"

"You really have no brains, do you kid?" Xanxus sneered. "I'm considering making you a guardian."

Spark's pulse raced a little. "I-is that right?" he whispered, not sure how he felt about it.

"I don't joke," the boss replied. "Levi's been a total asshole in the past year like you wouldn't believe. He's been in serious need of a demotion, and though I don't often give the position to kids (with the exception of Fran, Bel, Mammon, Squalo, etc.), I think you might be able to fill his shoes."

"Those are some pretty stinky shoes to fill, sir, I'm not sure if I can do that," the Lightning snickered.

"Not literally, kid, that would probably kill you," Xanxus laughed. "Listen. Do you know of parallel worlds?"

"I've... been taught about them...," the boy answered cautiously.

"Well, the parallel world that we're in now is the only one in which I act differently from usual. In other parallel worlds, the Varia become ripped apart by some unforseeable enemy... well, not in this one. Whenever they come, we're going to be able to defeat them. Know why?"

"Uh... more advanced weapons?" Spark asked.

"Love," Xanxus answered. The boy laughed loudly.

"That's a good one, boss!"

"I don't joke," the boss said again, silencing the light-blond-haired male. He glanced at the boy, his expression dead serious. "I fell in love in all of the parallel worlds, but there's only one world in which I accepted the fact and married Squalo. That's this world. The Varia are at their strongest in this world only, and you should be proud to be part of this Varia." Spark remained quiet, so Xanxus continued, his voice softer, "There aren't a lot of assassination groups who have learned of this amazing power."

Spark glanced up at Xanxus. "You aren't gonna make_ me _find love or anything, right?"

"There are different kinds," Xanxus said. "All I ask is that you keep the Sun trash happy." As they finally stepped outside, Spark looked at Xanxus in horror.

"You want me to hook up with Lussuria?!" he gasped.

"No! Hell, no," the boss denied. "Absolutely not. What I need you to do is to be a good kid for him, y'know? Ask questions, treat him like a mother... you know, hugs and crap."

"Why should I do that?" Spark complained.

"Cut the whining," Xanxus snapped. "Lussuria is pretty damn content with us, but he's lonely. That much is obvious. On nights where all of us go out on dates, he's forced to go ask Levi if he wants to play dress-up or watch soap operas with Mammon. And sometimes, Levi and Mammon go out just for the hell of it." The boss stopped outside and gestured to the beautiful garden outside. "He adds a lot of details that are actually nice. Even though he's a pain in the ass at times, he cares for the flowers, trims the trees, cooks us meals, and even fixes our clothes when they get all torn in battle. Whether we like it or not, he's really the Varia's mother, and we need to be good to him. So just... get close to him, all right? Be a good little trash and be nice with Lussuria."

"Oh, boss~!" came a voice from behind them. Xanxus's blood-red gaze swerved back to look at the guardian who had come out from behind a corner. "You're so noble, looking out for me like that! It's truly adorable!" Xanxus immediately turned a pistol on the Sun, who merely clucked his tongue and waggled a finger. "Now, now, boss! Don't shoot someone who means _that _much to you! Hohohoho~" He ran inside, and Xanxus sighed and shook his head, a small smirk on his face.

"Letting the trash know I care about them is going to be the end of me."

Spark glanced back at him, eyes narrowing slightly.

_'Is this what enticed him into joining the Varia? The love, and the trust? This weirdly tsundere boss figure? Is it because they'll let him fight, while still welcoming in his boyfriend? Is that it?'_

Looking back to the headquarters, Spark frowned.

More research needed to be done.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

Well, Xan-tan, I hear you. SCHOOL will be the end of ME. :(

Thank you, all of you who are still following me so loyally, and thanks even more to those of you who review and give me the encouragement that I cling to so desperately when writing these chapters! Between school and sleep, I can't tell which is making it harder, but I do know that writing can't happen unless I manage to clear up my schedule some more... So, as always...

Review for a faster upload! D:


	6. Happy and Sad - Loving and Mad

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Six**

* * *

_It was time._

Spark brushed his fingers over the box weapon attached to his belt, eyes trained on the building in which his target resided. At six o'clock every evening, this man would come out and go to some sources where he could collect information on the Varia, something which, Xanxus said, had to be taken care of at once, or so help him, _'the trash won't get any weird heart-shaped pancakes for the rest of the year.'_ While Squalo and Mammon were sent off to take care of those giving out this information, Spark was to take out this man... Leopold Silversmith.

Apparently, the guy was someone who sold villas - that was, at least, his little alibi. He was a strangely plain-looking man, too, Spark couldn't help but notice. Bel and Fran had apparently bought a villa from him at some point, but nevertheless, he was dangerous, and had to be taken care of.

As soon as the male with brown hair and eyes slipped out of the building, Spark readied his box weapon. In doing this, he'd earn the trust of the boss... in doing this, he'd grow closer to his target, even if just by a little.

"Go, Flash," Spark whispered, punching flames into the box and sending out his salamander. The small creature immediately attacked Leopold, landing on his shoulder and stabbing his tail into Leopold's shoulder, the hard factor allowing it to pierce through. The brunette cried out in pain and fell to his knees, and the lizard quickly did its best to immobilize him by breaking his limbs.

Hauntingly, Spark stepped towards the fallen man, a poison dagger gripped in one hand. "And this is why you don't stand in my way," he growled, flashing the blade in front of the other male's eyes.

Leopold slowly looked up, a thin line of blood trailing down from a scratch in his lip that had been dealt by Flash. "You're... just a child...," he growled, reaching for his gun, but Spark slashed his already-broken wrist, shattering the possibility entirely.

"I am _not_ a child," he growled. "I am Andrew Spark... proud member of the Reborn Funeral Wreaths." His true identity spoken, the white-haired male swiftly stabbed the poison dagger through his target's heart.

_No one can ever know,_ he thought, a smirk crossing his face. _And those who do and are not my family must die._

As he strode away from the scene, Flash returning to his box, he knew exactly who he was and what his purpose was.

To take the throne of the Funeral Wreath's formal Lord.

To make his father proud, to make Kikyo smile at him, place his index finger and thumb against his chin with an approving, _'Oho.'_

To become the wonderful, rightful heir that Byakuran should have left behind.

"Shou-chan~," Byakuran hummed. "Almost done?" The albino was lying on his stomach, sprawled out on the bed, his head resting in his boyfriend's lap. His hair was unusually down - a product of Lussuria's experimenting that made him look like a purely white-haired version of Squalo. One finger traced the purple mark on his left cheek, while his other hand was inside a bag, seeking out the last few marshmallows that could be found inside of it. Pulling one from the bag and popping it into his mouth, he once more turned his amethyst gaze on Irie Shouichi.

"Sheesh, you're so impatient. For the hundredth time, it's loading," Irie sighed, reaching out and combing his hand through Byakuran's hair, managing to get a few of his flattened locks to stand straight again. Masking the smile on his face, he whispered, "For someone who tried to destroy the world, you certainly are childish.

Byakuran smiled up at the red-haired male. "That's because I've been influenced by you," he giggled. Picking up the bag of marshmallows, he peered into the empty package, tossing it on the ground when he found it to be empty. Now, with his attention undivided by said candy, he shifted up to sit next to his lover, arms wrapping around his thin waist. "Ne," he said, waiting for the other to turn towards him before he pressed their lips together.

_'Beep-beep! Loading Completed!'_ came the robotic female voice from Shouichi's laptop, and the two turned their attention on the video that came up.

_"Ten Reasons why You Should Marry Me! By Byakuran!"_

"Oh, god, are you for real?" Shouichi groaned, pausing the video. "You told me it was important!"

"It is important," Byakuran pouted. "This is vital information!"

Combing up more of his lover's white locks, Shouichi sighed and placed his laptop to the side. "Look, I'll watch it later, but..."

"... But what, Shou-chan?" Byakuran asked as his lover failed to complete his sentence. Suddenly, he found himself pulled into his lover's lap, and he skillfully suppressed his blush.

"But I already want to marry you... so there's really no need to give me more reason," the other male finished, his cheeks turning beet red.

Byakuran nearly squealed at the remark. "Oh, Shou-chan~! You wonderful, wonderful bucket of chocolate and sprinkles!" he cried, before initiating his standard procedure to seduce his uke.

Said procedures were promptly interrupted by a knock on the door. "Byakuran~!" came Bel's voice through the door. "Froggy wants to have us all go on a double-date! You in?"

"It wasn't my idea, senpai..."

Byakuran sighed, looking at the door, sitting back, though he still straddled his lover's legs. "Aren't you two married? Are married couples allowed to go on dates?" he asked.

"I don't see why not!" Belphegor called. "It's fun! Ushishishishi~ We could get the skylark-pineapple couple to come, too! Make it a triple date!"

"Wait, wait, I've got an idea," said Fran. "If you two are coming, then get out here!"

Byakuran sighed wistfully as he looked back at Shouichi. "Shall we, Shou-chan?" he asked. Shouichi cleared his throat, and fixed his own mussed hair, before nodding.

"Y-yeah. That'd be fine," he whispered, "but real quick - this keeps bugging me..." He started to fix Byakuran's hair until it was back to its former glory, before he slid out from beneath his lover and hopped off of the bed. "Let's go."

"You've got a thing for hair, huh, Shou-chan?" Byakuran mused, to which the red-haired male glared at him. Giggling, the albino made his way to the door, and opened it. "What's up?"

"You know, a few nights ago... I walked past Lussuria's room and heard him on the phone with that Ryohei guy... crying," Fran said in a low voice. "Mammon's been his buddy, but since you moved out of his room, Byakuran, he's not had a lot of company..."

"So... what are you getting on to?" Byakuran asked. "I let him do my hair earlier - I've done my good deed to him for the day."

"But it's not enough," Fran whispered. "He's been so sad for a long time, with or without us... and I think we should help him out. Whether it's taking him out with us or helping him find someone other than that Ryohei... I mean, that boxer dude has broken his heart how many times now?"

"Three," Bel answered. "The first break-up, the prank phone call, and whatever went down a few nights ago."

Fran nodded. "Hey, will you two help out?"

"... Sorry, Fran-chan. I have stuff to do...," Byakuran mumbled, before dragging Shouichi back into their room. It wasn't that he didn't care for Lussuria, but... well, the Sun guardian had pushed him a little far on several occasions...

Bel looked back at his lover. "You really want to help him out?"

Fran gave a small nod, his expression unreadable. "I do...," he whispered. "I think he deserves to be happy like the rest of us. We thought just our family would be enough for him... but what if we were wrong?"

Bel shrugged.

* * *

It had... been a long week.

Lussuria sat at the bench of the piano in his room, slowly pressing different chords and experimenting with the sound. He was distraught, yes, but he wouldn't let it get his family down, so as always, he put on a veneer to keep them happy. Put on a smile and a flamboyant tone, wriggled his hips and fangirled over the other couples in the house, knowing he could never envy them and their success, longing though he was.

The Sun guardian bit his lip, then slowly began to play, the melody dolorous and heartfelt.

Ryohei called a few nights back. The more he learned about the world and exactly who Lussuria seemed to be, the more bitter the boxer became towards him. He was cold like a dead person, and since Lussuria had seen the beauty of life, the Muay-Thai master no longer enjoyed such things. A broken, beaten body... he never looked forward to seeing one unless it belonged to someone who hurt his family. Ryohei had changed so much, too... the one who used to smile at him, inadvertantly flirt, and enjoy a gently rough spar with him, now cared for him only to give him the yearly phone call and tell Lussuria how 'extremely disgusting' he was.

Every time he heard the boxer's voice, his heart broke a little more.

Lussuria began to sing with the melody he was playing, his voice unusually empty, void of it's emotion and flamboyance.

He had only his family. His family cared about him. Xanxus, Squalo, Fran, Bel, Byakuran, Shouichi, Hibari, Mukuro, Mammon... and that other guy.

They cared for him.

They loved him.

They were the only ones who ever would.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

This chapter really came out of no where for me. ;-; I've been writing it gradually over the time since my last post, so the sections feel a little detached from each other, and this whole deal with Lussuria just... came to me? *cliche usage* I guess I wanted to do a side story since stuff was plot-spoiled in the beginning. *sheepish grin*

Well! It's been a while, but** I do have a choice for everyone~!** Because it's spontaneous plot-bunny breeding season, I'm thinking of whether Luss should be our sad single after all, or he should be paired with someone else~ :D

**So, here are our options:**

_1. Adult!Mammon makes his debut - as a live person, at least - and sweeps Luss off his feet._

_2. DaisyxLuss becomes a possibility - O.o I ship it._

_3. Drama/Angst/Hurt/Comfort happens and LussxRyohei become a couple again._

_4. LussxLevi? If you really want that, I guess I could... :T_

_5. KEEP THE DAMN SUN TRASH SINGLE. D:_

Remember, as in all (meaning most) of my little plot-choices, **majority will rule!**

Review and make Lussuria's day! Or, if you still don't like him, review for BelxFran (or whatever pairing you want more of) fluff and etc. scenes! :D


	7. Uniquely in Love

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Seven**

**Author's Notes:** All right~ I figured out how to please my sudden obsession for more Lussuria, so just bear with me through my excessive bunnies. :P I did listen to the... three? - reviews and the requests that I got, and intend to act accordingly~ :3 Thank you, KatoKimeka-chan - is this your first review? Huzzah! X3 - and to the ever review-reliable KIRI NO BASHOE and . You all rock! X3 *gives out cookies*

* * *

Belphegor lay back in the bed, a strawberry lollipop in his mouth. Shouichi had literally gotten a crate full of them from Spanner, who apparently wanted him to have ten every day of every month for the rest of his life. The monthly-present-of-strawberry-lollipops idea sat very well with Byakuran, who had decided to further exaggerate that he was a changed man by sharing said candies with everyone in the house.

However, there were some complications.

When Byakuran offered one to Lussuria, the Sun guardian told him the _very_ top-secret information that he'd gained a pound and didn't want to take any more risks.

When Byakuran offered one to Mammon, the Arcobaleno swatted him on the head with a tentacle and raged because he thought Byakuran was once more insulting his small form.

When Byakuran offered one to Fran, the teal-haired male deadpanned, before using Lussuria's excuse.

When Byakuran offered one to Mukuro, the older Mist chuckled darkly, then asked if Byakuran was going to gouge out his eye with it.

When Byakuran offered one to Squalo, he nearly went deaf as a consequence.

When Byakuran offered one to Hibari, the ex-prefect scowled and bluntly said that he was going to bite Byakuran to death if he suggested it again.

When Byakuran suggested it again, he learned the definition of pain.

When Byakuran offered one to Xanxus, Xanxus said to put it up Squalo's - **censored** - then - **censored** - and - **censored** - travel around the world, before - **censored** - and when that was done, - **more censoring** - and then he would have to -** not for kids** - and that even then, boss would rather - **something about Byakuran's mom.**

And so, Belphegor had gotten the majority of the lollipops that Byakuran had wanted to share.

Fran sighed as he walked into the room to the sight of Belphegor trying (and failing) to sexily devour his treat, and called, "Senpai. It's not going to work, okay? Get up, we're going on that double-date after all."

"You got the pineapple and the cannibal to agree to it?" Belphegor asked, slightly incredulous.

Fran gave a nod. "It wasn't easy. I had to pull the puppy eyes on Mukuro. Once I'd done that, Mukuro had to work up the balls to try it on skylark-san, and it worked."

"He was able to work up the balls to pull the puppy eyes on he skylark?" Belphegor asked, even more incredulous.

"I know. The concept of Mukuro growing even the tiniest of balls seems absolutely preposterous, but by some sorcery, he managed it," the illusionist replied sagely. "His growth of balls was a sight to behold."

"You beheld Mukuro growing his balls?" the prince questioned. "You're a witness to him growing balls?"

"Yes, senpai, I saw Mukuro's balls being grown," Fran answered.

"So in a sense, you saw Mukuro's balls," Bel pointed out.

"Yes, in a sense, I did see Mukuro's balls," Fran agreed.

"But he has no balls," the blond protested.

"I just told you, he grew balls," Fran replied.

"Mukuro by some sorcery grew ba-"

"I'm right here, you know," Mukuro muttered from outside the door. "And I'm not certain I'm enjoying this conversation you two are having."

"Oh my. He just grew the balls to eavesdrop," Fran gasped.

"So they got even bigger!" Bel whispered, shocked.

"Would you cut it out?!" Mukuro protested, before pausing a heard a surprising noise. Turning, he saw Hibari, one hand over his mouth to cover the fact that he was... laughing? "K-Kyouya!" the illusionist complained. "How could you?"

"Now he has the balls to go against the cannibalistic skylark?" Belphegor gasped.

"You know, Mukuro, if your balls get too big, you won't be able to stand," Fran said flatly, before finally losing his deadpan and snickering alongside a madly giggling Belphegor.

"Oh, stop," Mukuro sighed, blushing lightly. He then turned towards Hibari, and said, "We should just ditch them, go on a date of our own, you know? Leave the children behind..."

The ex-prefect snickered, then shook his head. "No, no. We'll go," he said, soon turning to Fran again. "... If we may?"

"... 'If we may'? Thy language amuses me. We're the ones who invited you," Fran snorted. "Yeah, it's still on. We found a nice Japanese restaurant that we can go to...," he said softly. "I knew skylark-san wasn't likely to eat elsewhere."

Hibari gave a small smile, clearly a bit happy. It was odd, but... Fran always stuck up for him. It was nice, and Hibari enjoyed it greatly. Having an uke-buddy-

Wait.

No.

That was just _wrong_, Hibari Kyoya.

* * *

As Bel, Fran, Hibari and Mukuro all took a seat around a table, Belphegor giggled, "So, when do you two intend to 'elope,' hm?"

"Not for a w-"

"Soon," Hibari interrupted his lover. "It won't be much longer than a month from now."

Fran glanced at the skylark in surprise. "Woah, why are you so into this?" he asked.

"Why not?" Hibari returned with a shrug. "We've been lovers, there's no more hiding it at this point. Though I've been shy up until now, I'm glad that I'm getting married to the man I love, and I am almost even glad to be part of your crowd, Belphegor, Fran. Being with Mukuro has changed me greatly, and I believe for the best."

Those around the table all blinked in confusion and surprise, Mukuro finally grabbing Hibari's hand and giving it a soft squeeze, a silly smile on his face as he looked at the prefect. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too, you damn pineapple," Hibari replied.

"And, queue tonsil hockey," Fran muttered under his breath as the two older males moved to kiss each other.

"Ushishishishi~ Froggy's so epic, knowing when a kissing scene is gonna happen! However~" The prince leaned in, wanting to surprise his kouhai with what he believed to be a stealthy kiss, but Fran promptly dodged his lips and called over a waiter as his best defense.

"Froggy's no fun," Belphegor whined.

"That's not what you were saying last night," Fran muttered, to which the prince let his head flop on to the table in a dead manner.

"Yes, sirs, what may I get you to drink?" asked the waiter, giving Belphegor a glance before turning back at Fran with an inquiring look on his face.

"Green tea," Fran said.

"Froggy's choice of drink is the same color as his skin," Belphegor mumbled around the wood of the table. "The prince will have strawberry milk, in honor of Mammon."

"Mammon isn't dead yet, senpai," his young, illusionist lover replied in a flat voice.

Leaning slightly against his lover, Hibari said, "Sake for me, and a glass of pineapple juice for the missus," he said, to which everyone but Mukuro chuckled. As the waiter headed away again, Mukuro pouted.

"What's gotten into you today, Kyouya?"

The ex-prefect shrugged. "Either testosterone, or the aftershock of your bedhead this morning," he replied swiftly, almost as if he'd expected the question.

With a groan, the pineapple-headed illusionist followed Bel's example, laying his head on the table, completely and utterly defeated.

Dinner went fairly smoothly, with the two main semes of the couples calmer than usual after being put down by their ukes. Hibari seemed unusually happy through the entire thing, almost as if he'd stolen Mukuro's happiness for the day... or perhaps it was Opposite Day, and Bel and Fran simply hadn't heard yet?

Either way... things seemed strange between the Mist and Cloud, not that there wasn't actually good reason for it.

That night, Hibari slowly approached his lover, something hidden behind his back.

* * *

"... Looks like you found what you were looking for," Mukuro whispered as the ex-prefect walked towards him. "Should I be concerned?"

Hibari shook his head. "No. I told you this morning. I'll bite you to death tomorrow. Today is an important day for me." Nodding, the illusionist watched as his lover sank down on one knee, taking Mukuro's hand and kissing the back of it.

"Ten years ago today, we had our first, if accidental kiss," he whispered. "When we first became an actual couple... I decided that ten years after that day would be the day that I propose to you, if our relationship managed to survive that long. And so..." The Cloud produced a silver ring with an indigo gem set in the middle, his lover's name inscribed on the edge of the ring. "Mukuro Rokudo... Will you marry me?"

Mukuro slowly knelt down beside his lover, pulling him into a tight hug before murmuring, "Of course I will, Kyouya. You're honestly the biggest ray of sunshine in my life, and though we had wanted for so long only to see each other crumpled and withering on the ground, I can sincerely say that at this point, I want nothing more than to be by your side, supporting you, caring for you, and loving you for the end of time."

Hibari smirked. "All right. Enough of the fanservice. Kiss me properly now." He and Mukuro met in a passion-filled kiss, the both of them holding each other tightly and showing not a drop of tenderness for each other this time, the kiss more a battle than anything else. They loved each other, but in a way that no one would ever understand.

Hate and love, love and hate. That was the strong foundation of their relationship. They had an unquenchable lust for each other, and their affection was based purely on a need to see the other. They had a passion for each other stronger than steel and mutual interests that no one else seemed to have. They were a brand of their own. They'd toy with the notion of sweetness and the definition of love others described, but in the end, they were always the same.

A pair of carnivores, out for each other's blood.

___"Rokudo Mukuro," Hibari had snarled, eyes ablaze with anger as he stared at the illusionist before him. "What on earth do you want?"_

_"Only to see your blood, little Kyouya," Mukuro replied with a creepy grin. "Why do you ask? Do you wish to please me? If so, get down on one knee."_

_"I will only get down on one knee if you force me to," Hibari growled in return, before rushing at the illusionist. Mukuro moved to do the same, when he suddenly lost his footing, arms flying out to catch himself and hooking around Hibari's shoulders. As the illusionist quickly tried to righten himself, he found his lips pressed firmly against Hibari's. The two stared into each other's eyes, both equally shocked, before Mukuro corrected his mistake by pulling away, a hand moving up to cover his mouth._

_After a few moments of awkwardness, the two parted ways._

**-End Chapter**

* * *

*phew* I hope that was satisfying enough for everyone! I know it's been indescribably long... and I'm ready to confess that the main loss of my inspiration was from a relationship that ended... badly. Guess it kind of took away the magic for me for a brief amount of time, but my Muse is back in action now.

_Please_ leave a review for me! As always, it means the world to me!


	8. Sugar and Spice and um - the Other Stuff

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

While Belphegor, Fran, Mukuro and Hibari were all on their little 'double-date,' Lussuria led Spark into town, wanting to see if the boy would help him seek out something to decorate the base for the sort-of upcoming Mukuro Rokudo's birthday. It was still a month from then, sure, but for Mukuro, Lussuria knew he would have to try pretty hard to impress everyone. Pineapples everywhere might've worked last year, but it wouldn't this year - things needed to be fresh!

"And why am I coming along, too?" Spark muttered, arms folded.

"Because boss says I get to take you with me everywhere~!" Lussuria giggled as he pulled the boy along. "He's very eager to please... very eager to please _me_, that is~! It's nice, you know. It's not often that I hear boss be appreciative of me... and goodness, it's frustrating that I have to eavesdrop to hear any of his praise!"

Spark heaved a sigh, then perked as he saw someone out of the corner of his eye. A man with long, wavy, pine green hair and dark circles under his eyes walked up to them, soon turning his gaze up on Lussuria. "Excuse me," he whispered. "You were so pretty, I just had to stop you both..."

Lussuria, who was about to comment on the other male looking quite familiar, immediately balked, his eyes opening wide. "O-oh, my. I don't think you can handle me, boy," he said cheerfully, before leading Spark off, an arm around his shoulders.

"No, please wait," the man called. "May I tag along for a bit? I'd really like to get to know you better..."

Lussuria bit his lip. "... Oh, what's the harm?" he eventually decided. "Sure, you can come along!" The three soon headed into a nearby store, Lussuria immediately bolting to where they had many different wallpapers, decorations and the like.

"... Andrew," whispered the man, taking the boy's hand. "Kikyo wanted me to check up on you."

Spark shook his head. "I'm fine, Daisy... How are you lot faring without me?"

"It's been difficult. Zakuro and Bluebell keep fighting, Kikyo is getting antsy, waiting for you... he's afraid you'll become attached to the Varia."

Once more, the boy shook his head, before whispering, "Never. They're annoying. All they do is spew off this crap about love..."

Daisy looked confused. "... Love...?"

Nodding, Spark started off towards where Lussuria was fussing over which color was the most suiting for a pineapple-illusionist. "Yes, love. They say it's their strong point... which leads me to conclude that love is also their weakest point. If they lose trust in those who they think love them most-"

"No, that won't work," Daisy said, also moving after the boy. "Kikyo has done his research. Such things have been attempted time and time again. But somehow, they always find a way."

"Then whomever else attacks them isn't too bright," Spark huffed. "Obviously, they must first be separated. Squalo away from Xanxus, Mukuro away from Hibari, Bel away from Fran."

"What about Lord Byakuran?" Daisy asked, voice dropping to a whisper as they got closer to the Sun guardian.

"He... is beyond our help," the white-haired male sighed. "We will have to break him away from Irie Shouichi, and include him in the plans."

"And... this one?" the undead male asked, nodding towards Lussuria.

"Him? He's nothing. We'll just ignore him," whispered Spark. "If he's separated from his family, he'll be destroyed."

"... Maybe I should follow you back to the base?"

"No. The others would recognize you," Spark mumbled. "Just go home when this is settled." Daisy nodded, and the two joined Lussuria.

"Do you think a brighter color or a darker color would work?" Lussuria asked as he observed the decorations. "Or do you think a yellow or orange would do, or perhaps a blue or an indigo?"

"Yes," Spark said, flatly.

"I think the indigo and the dark orange would contrast very well. It would look very unique, very pretty... like you," Daisy said, sending Lussuria a faint smile.

Lussuria blushed, then glanced at the colors, holding them close together for a moment. "Hmm... I suppose you're right! My, what's your name? You're quite a cutie, you know..."

"Alexander," Daisy lied flawlessly. "You?"

"Oh, my name~? Lussuria, love, but you can call me Luss," Lussuria said with a bright smile. "You're awful sweet, you know..."

"Thank you... but I'm afraid I have to leave in just a few minutes. I have work to go through," the younger Sun said, before turning to Spark. "See you around."

Lussuria pouted. "Aww... so soon? Sure you don't wanna come back and spend some time with me, dearie?"

"I... I don't think..."

"Come on, love~! _Pleeeaaase?"_ Lussuria asked with a pout, a sunny smile on his face as he looked at Daisy.

Daisy shook his head. "No. I'm leaving now."

"Would you like my phone number or anything...?" Lussuria murmured, now starting to look crestfallen.

"Why... would I want your phone number?" Daisy asked with a cock of his head. "I don't like you at all, sir." He hurried away at that, and Lussuria pouted.

"Always a bride's maid, never a bride, you know?" he sighed to Spark, who rolled his eyes.

"Get over yourself, Luss. Let's go home..."

* * *

Later that night found the dinner table surrounded by very meloncholy and unusually-quiet Varia. Lussuria was absently playing with food, an action that all but begged to be questioned, though no one asked. Xanxus was awkwardly feeding Squalo, the shark having demanded it after him after what seemed to be a particularly intense night. Levi was... absent, being a grunt now and therefore not being important enough to sit at the legendary Varia dining room table. Byakuran had a beyond-embarassed Irie Shouichi sitting in his lap, the mechanics cheeks cherry-red at the quiet murmured compliments. Hibari and Mukuro were eating in a stoic silence, though on occasion they'd throw small bits at food at each other with their forks. Bel and Fran were missing - or, not missing, but busy... spending some time in the cupboards... where the cookies were.

Finally, Xanxus glanced up, shoving a forkful of spinach into Squalo's waiting mouth and saying, "What's wrong with you, Luss?"

Lussuria glanced up at him, then down again. "I'm fine."

"He's all pissy because this guy approached us earlier and got all comfy with him, then later said, 'I don't like you at all, sir,'" Spark muttered, unblinking.

"Is that right?" Xanxus asked, glancing back to the Sun guardian. "We've gone over this like a hundred times, trash. You have Mammon putting up with you, and all of us consider you some sort of mom. What else do you want? If you say 'a boyfriend,' I'll shoot you. You should know better than now that you're just not meant for that crap. You have too much drama on your own."

Lussuria gave him a weak smile. "Many apologies, boss... I guess I just miss that feeling of being the most important person to someone."

"Luss," Mammon spoke up. "I don't want to be more than a friend to you, but you're pretty damn important to me. It's kind of hard for people to take someone my size seriously, but you always listen when I'm down."

"You gave me a bunch of romance advice, too," Byakuran spoke up, grinning at Lussuria. "Shou-chan wouldn't have ever come to see me if you hadn't~"

"Luss, if not for you, I'd have looked like a slimy hobo on my wedding day-" Squalo cut himself off, glancing towards the corner. "No offense, Thomas."

Levi glanced up from his spot on the ground. "What did you just call me...?"

"-and furthermore several attempts to seduce Xanxus would've just turned into me having my hair pulled and kicked in the ass. Thank you," Squalo finished.

"You know, shark trash... Luss cleans me up sometimes for our dates," Xanxus muttered suddenly. "You know, those few where you've been able to not focus on anything but me?" The silverette blushed and smacked him.

"Shut up!" he muttered, face red.

Lussuria glanced up, blushing lightly. "Am I really that important to everyone?"

"Well, one time you helped me shape metals for a project I was working on," Shouichi said softly, grinning.

"You healed my broken bones," Hibari muttered.

"We've had our moments," Mukuro added sagely.

"Yeah, and-" Belphegor and Fran ran to the table, both with very messed up clothing and hair and flushed cheeks. "And you've been great t'us, too," Fran managed, panting slightly. "What with the, uh... r-romantic advice, yeah..."

"What the hell were you and the prince trash doing in the cupboard to get so disheveled?" Xanxus asked, frowning.

"Obviously we were eating sugar cookies. They're so freaking amazing, they make your bananas rot," Bel said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We're gonna head out now!" He grabbed Fran's arm and pulled him out, soon grinning back at him. "You're lucky the prince can lie."

Fran gave him a flat look. "Hardly. Liars can cheat. And what the hell did you even mean with making your bananas rot? That's just wrong," he muttered, but Bel calmed him by leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.

"Froggy, I love you," he whispered, grinning widely.

Fran smiled a bit and rolled his eyes. "Stupid prince, I love you, too."

**-End Chapter**

* * *

:) Hello again everyone~ School's just about over, so don't worry! I'm back! :D

Please leave your reviews! You all know I run on them! :D


	9. A Late Discovery

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

_"Tsuna!"_ came a sharp, painstakingly familiar voice as Tsuna worked on signing off a report from Mukuro. The young Vongola boss flinched slightly, then sighed and combed a hand through his eternally stuck-up hair. Standing from his desk, he left his office and was soon met with his tutor.

"Yeah, Reborn?" he asked.

"Don't '_yeah Reborn_' me! This is important!" the smaller male snapped. "Come here. We just got a report from Gokudera that there has been a prison break from Vindice."

"Oh, no. Not another one...," the Sky groaned, reaching up to rub his temple through his bangs.

"Yeah, another one," Reborn muttered. "Gokudera's in the meeting room waiting for you."

Tsuna nodded, soon following his tutor down to where the meeting room was. "Good luck staying calm," Reborn muttered.

"Ease up, Reborn, I'm nearly thirty. I promise not to shriek like last time," the Vongola replied with a weak chuckle, soon entering the room. "Hello, Hayato-kun. Reborn says you have some... disturbing news?"

"The worse, Tenth," Gokudera sighed. "I've gotten word that the five Funeral Wreaths have broken out of Vindicere."

"Well that's not so bad!" Tsuna said. "Hayato-kun, you were one of the people to give flames and revive them. Zakuro wouldn't be alive if not for you, Bluebell would've died without Takeshi-kun's flames, and the same goes for Ryohei and Daisy... and Mukuro and Torikabuto? The only Funeral Wreath whose life we didn't have to restore was Kikyo, and he's probably happy enough already that we spared him in the first place. They just want to live their lives, Hayato-kun. Don't worry."

The Storm gave a short sigh. "I don't know, Tenth. If they seek out Byakuran, and bring him back to their terms of thinking... we'd be up against their lot all over again! We gotta send out a search party in Italy to make sure they are _not_ together! To prevent the Funeral Wreaths from ever returning to power."

Tsuna's usually soft and pathetic gaze sharpened. "Byakuran is on our side now, Hayato-kun. Just like how Mukuro is on our side, and just like how Xanxus is on our side - Byakuran is with us, too. We have nothing to worry about with him. I got a report from Xanxus not long ago that Byakuran had proven his loyalty to the Varia."

Gokudera bit his lip, then passed the jailbreak report to his boss. "Just promise me you won't be blind to what could happen, Tenth. As one of your loyal Guardians, I love you, and I'll protect you with my life! But that doesn't mean I'll settle for you just being full-on blind!"

The Sky smiled, moving to Gokudera and ruffling his hair a bit. "It'll all be fine, Hayato-kun. And save that love for your boyfriend, Takeshi-kun," he whispered. "If they become evil again, they're first attack point would be the Varia, and with Byakuran, Hibari, Mukuro, and Shouichi with them, the Varia couldn't possibly lose. Don't worry about it."

Giving a small nod, the silverette stood. "All right, Tenth. I... I'll do my best to trust your judgement," he said, though his voice held a lot less confidence than it could've.

Tsunayoshi nodded, soon leaving the room, his right-hand man trailing after him loyally. "... Hey, Hayato-kun?" the Sky started after a while. "I'll call Xanxus and let him know, okay? Will that cheer you up?"

The silverette glanced up at him. "Uh, yeah, that'd help," he mumbled. Tsuna smiled and took out his phone, soon calling Xanxus.

"... Hello, Xanxus?"

("What do you want, Tsuna?")

Unfazed by Xanxus using his nickname, the Vongola boss replied, "I want to inform you of a Vindicere break-out."

* * *

"Break-out?" Xanxus repeated, hand on Belphegor's face, trying to shove the obnoxious prince's head out of his line of sight to no avail. "Who?"

("Um, Kikyo, Bluebell, Daisy, Zakuro-")

"GET YOUR **FACE** OUT OF MY **BUSINESS**, PRINCE TRASH!" Xanxus snapped to Belphegor, who just giggled and slid into his lap, only to be shoved off.

("... and Torikabuto.")

"All right, so the five babies got out. They're probably too weak to do any harm," Xanxus grumbled.

"Who got out?" Byakuran asked.

"Kikyo, Bluebell, Daisy, Zakuro, Get-your-face-out-of-my-business Princetrash, and Torikabuto," Belphegor replied with a manic grin.

"That's some really old news. I saw Kikyo a fair while ago," Byakuran snickered.

"You did?" Fran cut in. "What the hell?"

"He looked like a hobo. No harm," the albino assured, not noticing Spark's awkward glance at him.

"VOI BOSS!" Squalo shouted suddenly, walking into the room with a maid's outfit on. "DOES THIS DAMN THING ACCENTUATE MY ASS WELL?"

_"Hey!_ The Vongola is on the phone, trash, and I'll bet you just lost all of his respect!" Xanxus yelled back.

_"WHAAAAT?!"_ Squalo all but shrieked.

"Are you on your man-period, long-haired commander?" Fran asked, covering his ears.

**"YES!**" Squalo snapped.

"Squ-chan, I told you not to come out yet!" Lussuria protested, running out and grabbing the other male's arms, dragging him back into another room, while scolding, "The effects of the perfume haven't worn off yet! You're all crazy!"

"I JUST WANTED TO DISCUSS MY ASS WITH THE BOSS!"

"Your ass looks great, shark trash!" Xanxus snapped, purely for the sake of getting the silverette to shut up. He then remembered Tsunayoshi was on the phone, and he muttered, "Sorry, Tsuna."

("No problem, Xanxus," Tsuna whispered. "Just be careful, all right? Call if you need us to help you.")

"Don't act like we're weak, trash. We have two of your guardians, and one of your worst nightmares."

("Almost all of you over there are my worst nightmares. Everyone, save for Fran-san and Shouichi-kun...")

"Shut up. I'm hanging up now," Xanxus growled, soon closing his phone, before standing. "I'm going to go see what the hell's going on with Lussuria and Squalo."

"Be careful, boss!" Belphegor cried.

"Yeah, don't go into the perfume!" Byakuran gasped.

"That'd kill him! Boss is allergic to perfume!" Mammon revealed.

"What, really?" Fran gasped.

"Oh, hell, yeah. Lussuria'd be drenched in the stuff constantly if it wasn't for that," Mammon replied.

"Wow, and all this time, I thought he wasn't holding back," Belphegor whispered.

"Oh no, Lussuria is so immune to that crap that it was once an attack of his," the Arcobaleno replied sagely. "He would run into battle, smelling like candles, and he'd make everyone choke on his foul, strong perfume and make them all **die."**

"Wow, you put so much emphasis on the word 'die' it was scary," Fran said. "Like you're voice dropped an octave."

"Yeah, seriously, Monta," Bel agreed. "It was weird."

"... Did anyone see Spark leave?" Byakuran asked.

"No, we were to focused on the power of girls and their smelly fluids," Fran replied, wrinkling his nose.

After an awkward pause, Belphegor stabbed his kouhai, gasping,_ "GROSS!"_

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Kikyo? We need to talk."

**-End Chapter**

* * *

Cliff'd ya~! :P

Review or be bitten to death, lovely reviewers!


	10. The Daily Varia, at Three in the Morning

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

"No, really, get them out of the base. Move them somewhere else."

("Everything's fine, I promise. Why can't you just trust me, boy? Is it because they're Varia? You think they are stronger than us?")

"No, just... I need you to get me out of here at least, if you won't move them. I have enough information. It's time to start, Kikyo. The RFW will overpower them, and I want that to happen soon!"

("Keep your voice and that oversized head of yours low. We'll take care of it. Just be patient.")

* * *

_Days Later..._

"Senpai?"

"Mmn?"

"Turn on the light, okay? I have something for you," Fran murmured in monotone, having woken up at three in the morning on that day. It was May nineteenth now - they'd known of the Funeral Wreaths for just under two weeks.

"Nn... Prince is tired... ushishi..."

"Prince needs to wake up and realize that his kouhai is doing something good for him," Fran said in a flat voice.

"Is it ice cream...?"

"No."

"Maybe a new video game?"

"Just turn on the light."

Belphegor groaned, moving to the lamp and turning it on, soon looking back at Fran. He blinked in surprise then, seeing Fran in a long, indigo dress with a slit up each side that suited and complimented his feminine form perfectly. "There's a suit on the bed. Put it on," Fran said, grabbing a comb and messing with his hair a bit, before grabbing his old frog hat and placing it on his head.

Looking down, the prince gave the blood-red suit a blank glance. "Froggy, what are you doing? It's three in the morning," he said, stripping out of his shirt and starting to tug down his pajama pants. "Did Lussuria get you with his perfume?"

Fran shook his head. "No."

"... But... but... Froggy, what...?"

Fran suddenly walked up to the prince and pressed a long kiss to his lips. "Just be quiet for a moment, senpai," he muttered, before slipping out of the room. Quickly putting on the suit, his storm-flamed lover followed after him.

"Are we gonna go to the dance place, Froggy?" Bel asked, struggling to tuck in his shirt.

"No. We're going to the living room," Fran replied, and the prince glanced down, as his uke seemed to be taller. Soon finding the cause - a pair of high heels - the prince grinned widely.

"Froggy looks like a woman."

"Shut up."

Belphegor giggled and moved forward, eyes trained on his lover's sexy, swaying backside. Before he knew it, his head was turning side to side to follow Fran's hips, and there was a small bounce in his gait. He didn't know what was going on, but so far, he rather liked it. But as they stepped out on to the living room floor, which was pleasantly cleared and lit up like a stage, the prince's hopes sank. Because waiting for them was... Irie Shouichi?

"Froggy, this isn't fun anymore!" Bel said, grabbing Fran's arm and stabbing his hand when the illusionist didn't stop. "Now it's just weird!"

"Don't jack up this dress!" Fran snapped, shoving Belphegor towards the awkward-looking Irie Shouichi, who was dressed similarly to Fran, except in gold. And then, Byakuran joined the fray, wearing white pants and a white long-sleeved shirt, alongside a vest that matched his eyes.

"Oh, Fran!" Byakuran called, and the illusionist obediently moved to him, rolling his eyes as Byakuran picked up his hand and kissed the back of it. "You look lovely," the jailbird whispered, and Belphegor scowled, moving to the albino's side and wrenching Fran out of his arms.

"My frog," he snarled.

"Heehee~ Poor Bel, Fran didn't tell you, did he?" Byakuran snickered. "Look. Fran wanted to learn a new dance so that he could show you off more when you two went out - don't look at me like that, Fran-chan, these are your words - so he asked Shou-chan and I to teach you two how to tango."

"... Tango?" Bel repeated, giving Shouichi a wary glance.

"It's a lot more fierce and passionate than a waltz," Byakuran said, grabbing Fran's hand and spinning him a bit. "I know it'll be awkward since Shou-chan isn't your lover, and since I'd be dancing with Fran, but Shou-chan and I don't want to make you two feel bad by demonstrating really well and putting you down." The albino giggled, then said, "Fran-chan has been taking secret lessons with me for the past week, and he said it was about time we got you in on it."

Belphegor's poker face was a sight to behold. He'd never held a straighter expression before in his life.

"Now, now, Bel-chan, don't be like that. Your uke wants to learn - are you gonna deny him a fun time?" Byakuran asked with a wink. "Besides, you don't get chances to flirt with _other_ ukes often, now do you?"

Belphegor thought, counted on his fingers to figure out how many months it had been, then grinned widely. "No, not often. But if I'm going to do this, Glasses needs to become Glasses-less."

"Shou-chan, remove your glasses."

Shouichi did just that, and Belphegor nearly burned because the miracle of Shouichi without his glasses on was just that awesome.

_"Put them back on! Put them back on!"_

And so, the dance lessons began.

As it turned out, placed out of his comfort zone, Bel was a notoriously horrible dancer. Some might say he had two left feet, while smarter people would say he was just made of jelly from the waist down. As Fran let Byakuran lead him through the steps of the fiery dance and even add in a few tricks, he snuck glances at Bel and Shouichi and would see either Bel trampling the redhead's feet, or Bel skipping uselessly around the room. The prince's boredom was evident, and to be entirely honest... it hurt a bit.

Fran frowned slightly, slowing down in his own movements enough for Byakuran to take the hint and slow down as well. "What's the matter, Fran-chan?" the Sky asked in a soft voice, reaching up to toy with one of Fran's bangs. The illusionist brushed the hand aside, and soon glanced up at Byakuran.

"Bel's not into this," the Mist sighed. "I'm sorry, but... I guess we're just gonna have to not do this..."

Byakuran pouted, stopping in their movements, and Shouichi soon stopped trying to get Bel to dance as well. "Fran?" Shouichi asked, but the illusionist just shook his head.

"You know what? It's fine. I'll just make myself a little snack in the kitchen, and I'll be off to bed. Bel, you can just head to sleep if you want. I'm sorry I woke you."

Belphegor watched, confused, as Fran walked away, before he turned to Byakuran. The Sky clucked his tongue at the prince, shaking his head slightly. "You let your uke down," he said with a sigh, before holding out his hand. "Shou-chan." The redhead moved to him, and Byakuran started up a dance of their own. Belphegor watched, eyes wide beneath his bangs as Byakuran and Shouichi moved with a grace and passion that he'd never seen before in his life.

"Easy, Byakuran," Shouichi said as he was dipped, wrapping his arms around the older male's neck. "Don't make certain people get jealous..."

"Fufufu~ You're so cute when you're tired, Shou-chan!" Byakuran giggled, "And so seductive..." He leaned down, nibbling along Shouichi's neck, before pulling him back up, their dance resuming with just as much energy as before. Belphegor frowned, soon moving to the kitchen. The waltz was enough, wasn't it? Flashy though he was, tying one's limbs together in a knot wasn't really his thing... Plus, he'd probably embarass himself if they did all that in public. He was a maniac, but he wasn't _crazy._

"Froggy?" Bel called as he stepped into the kitchen.

"What," Fran asked in a flat voice.

"... Is Froggy mad at the prince?" the prince asked, moving behind Fran and wrapping his arms around the younger male's waist. "The prince is sorry..."

"Bel, you... You've been retrogressing or something lately," Fran sighed. "You've started stabbing again, referring to yourself in third person... and I thought you were done calling me that."

"Froggy's wearing his hat tonight. Of course the p- er- of course I'm calling him Froggy."

"Bel... I love you," Fran murmured. "But we change to suit each other, you know? I love to joke around and everything, but I don't like it when you draw my blood, or pretend to be more important than me."

Belphegor's heart sank a bit at the words. "But Froggy doesn't even bleed, and..."

"Besides..." Fran turned back to the snack he was making, which was more or less a compilation of chips, cheeses, and... fruits? Weird. "Senpai, I just wanted to do something romantic for the two of us, and you just shot it down..."

"It's so early in the morning, and-"

"You know what? Forget it," Fran snapped. "I'm taking the couch tonight." He started out of the room, when Belphegor suddenly lunged out, plucking Fran's frog hat off of his head, tossing it on the ground, before placing his hands on each of his kouhai's shoulders, spinning Fran around to face him.

"I'm sorry, Fran," he said, shaking his bangs out of his eyes. "I was acting very immature, and I was upset and jealous to think that you'd been leaving at night to go practice some dance with Byakuran. I have good precision and fighting skills - an unrelenting storm and everything, but... I'm not a very skilled dancer. The waltz was fine, since we've practiced so much and since older Fran taught me-" Bel paused, seeing an upset look cross his lover's face. "... I'm sorry, okay?" Bel sighed. "I'm hard to deal with, I know. But... can we just go out to breakfast? Stick that bowl in the fridge and come out to eat with me... please, Froggy?"

Fran sighed, then moved to the refrigerator, putting away his 'snack,' before walking up to Bel, wrapping his arms around the prince's neck and resting his head against his lover's chest. "... I love you."

"I love you, too, Fran," Belphegor murmured, holding Fran close and kissing his forehead. "You're my very beautiful, very special kouhai."

"And your my idiotic, unfortunately hot, maniacal, lazy, psychotic, below-average, annoying-"

"Thank you, Froggy," Bel said with a faint smile that he disguised as a pout when Fran glanced back at him.

"All right, let's head out, then," Fran sighed, taking his lover's hand and starting out of the base with him. "We dressed up all fancy and crap, so let's go somewhere decent, okay?"

"How about idiot brother's cafe?" Bel suggested.

"We haven't dealt with him in a while... let's do it!" Fran agreed. "You sure they're open at this hour?"

"They open pretty early," the prince confirmed. As they stepped into the living room, they were met with the beyond-amusing sight of Byakuran and Shouichi, both fallen completely asleep on the floor, Shouichi looking as though he'd passed out mid-dip.

The two left the base, Belphegor tossing a stick to Levi, who simply flipped him off from his place chained to a tree. "Bad dog, don't flip off the prince," Belphegor scolded, throwing a rock at the former Lightning guardian, before continuing to follow Fran down the street. "Darn middle-aged Levi."

"I know. To think he was so awful as a grunt that we had to demote him to guard dog," Fran sighed. "Well, that's how life goes!"

"For Levis," Bel agreed.

"Yeah, for Levis," Fran said with a faint smile. A pleasant silence followed soon after, and Belphegor happily took his lover's hand, giggling softly as his eyes trailed back down to watch the sway in his lover's hips. After a lot of walking took place, the prince suddenly reached out, spanking his lover, and Fran stopped short, glancing at him incredulously. "... Did you just hit me on the ass?" he asked after a long pause.

"Depends. Did you like it?" Belphegor said with a cocky grin, only to have Fran return the move. After a more than awkward silence, the two started walking again, Belphegor pouting even though he was rather amused by the whole ordeal.

Soon arriving at the cafe, Belphegor and Fran seated themselves down, amused that aside from a group of chatty teenagers, they were the only ones in the restaurant. "I wonder if Jil works this shift~," Bel considered with a hum, picking up his fork and starting to tear up his napkin. "He told me a few days back that he started working a bit-"

"Early! What the hell?"

Belphegor and Fran turned to see Rasiel heading towards their table, and they cast each other a quick glance. "Seriously, you two, I was going to have a really slow and annoying morning tending to the needs of degrading teenagers! Though I'm thankful for it, what the hell are you both doing awake? And Fran... you look like a chick!"

"Shut it!" Fran hissed at him.

"Fran wanted me to dance, but since I have two left feet, we decided to just go out for breakfast," Bel replied with a giggle. "The prince will have a bowl of-" He stopped, Fran giving him a glance that said plainly, _'you think you deserve ice-cream after slapping my ass this morning?'_ After Bel gave Fran the_ 'you slapped mine, too,'_ look, he said, "Bacon."

"... You want a bowl of bacon?" Rasiel answered flatly. "And you call yourself my brother. Fran, what'll you have?"

"A glass of orange juice with a belgium waffle, if you'll please," Fran replied. "A bowl of seasonal fruits on the side would be nice, as an addition."

"... I take it you want the usual?" Rasiel asked, and Fran nodded. "All right, one stack of pineapple-topped pancakes, eggs, and a quasadilla coming up," he snickered, before leaving.

"... What?" Bel asked.

Fran shrugged. "'Usual' basically means I order any three completely random items from the menu. He's used to it by now, I guess."

The prince giggled, leaning across the table to peck Fran's lips. "Love you, frog."

"I love you, too, you crazy prince," Fran replied with a faint smile, reaching across the table to hold Bel's hand instead.

_Meanwhile, at the other table..._

"Dude, keep your voice down, there are a couple of them here," one boy with shoulder-length silver hair said, nudging his friend. "We gotta keep our heads low, remember?"

"Uh huh, sure," the other sneered. "Stupid Varia. It'll only be a matter of time, now..."

"Once Lord Spark returns to us, those two won't be so lovey-dovey anymore," one male whispered. "We'll make sure of it."

"Once their little 'secret power' is gone, the Varia will completely crumble. And then... it'll be our turn."

"The Reborn Funeral Wreaths will one day rule the Vongola."

**-End Chapter**

* * *

Phew! Long chapter, a bit of plot, a lot of B26, and a quick upload. :) See what happens with so many long reviews~? *hands out cheesecake to the reviewers* Thank you, everyone~

Please keep the reviews coming! I appreciate it so much! :D


	11. The Daily Varia, at Nine in the Morning

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Eleven**

Fran sighed softly, rolling over in his bed and snuggling up to the warm body in front of him, stopping when he recognized the smell. The smell that was _not _Bel. If he were to mistake that smell for Bel, he thought he belonged in Hell. Oh well.

Frustrated, he shuffled away from the other male, flopping on his side and cuddling up to the other body. _This _one was Bel. "Ushesheshe, you're getting good at recognizing me from my brother, Fran," came Rasiel's voice, the other prince cuddling up to Fran from behind, groaning as the illusionist swung a fist around, punching him in the nose. "Ah! God, Fran, what's your problem?!"

"You," Fran replied bluntly. "And of course I can tell you from senpai. Your breath smells like rotten fruit and a sack of potatos. Dirty potatos."

"Damn you," Rasiel groaned, slipping out of the bed. "I'm going back to work."

"You do that!" Fran called, watching as the waiter angrily snatched an apron off of a coat rack, soon leaving. With a smirk, Fran turned back to Belphegor, when he paused, being met with red eyes that were... a lot less familiar than Bel's. He soon realized it was the black markings at the corner of the other male's eyes. Bel, of course, did not have those. Glaring, he shoved the other male out of the bed and on to the floor, before sitting upright. "BEL-SENPAI!"

"For the love of being straight, Fran," the other male groaned. "Is that any way to treat your cousin?"

"What the hell are you doing here, Flem?" Fran protested.

"Look, all I know is that the last thing I remember is being at the cafe and having some sort of drinking contest with you, your freaky boyfriend, and Jill... now my head kind of hurts."

Fran punched his own hand. "Ah, now I remember, we all had that crazy pineapple juice drinking contest and then came back here feeling all weird because the acid was so damn strong. Sheesh, I need to find Bel!" The illusionist slipped out of the bed and left the room, ignoring the fact that he was just dressed in a pair of boxers.

* * *

_"I do," Bel said in his most uke-ish voice, smiling at his kouhai. Fran was the sexiest thing ever in that dark green tuxedo..._

_"Then, senpai, may I kiss the bride?" Fran husked. Belphegor nearly melted as his junior placed those small hands on his hips, leaning up and meeting their lips together-_

_Wait._

_Was the prince in a dress?_

All of a sudden, the shower turned on, and Belphegor gasped as he was abruptly woken up, his head moving to get out of the stream, and succeeding in hitting the shower head. With a hiss of pain, the prince finally managed to righten himself, shaking his head like a dog to rid himself of the water. "... This isn't... the shower...," he said dumbly.

"No, senpai. You're wearing _my _dress, and you had your head stuck in the sink all night long," Fran said flatly. "What the hell, senpai?"

"Huh?" Belphegor looked down. So that's why he couldn't breathe. Damn dresses were built for frogs, not princes. "... That's weird, I don't remember putting it on," he said with a pout, soon starting to shuffle out of the dress.

"Man, we need to get back to the base," Fran sighed. "I don't want to be late to breakfast."

"Yeah, we might miss the daily argument between boss and Squ," Bel agreed, soon handing Fran his dress, before looking around. "Seen my clothes, Froggy?"

"Let's look," Fran sighed. "Flem's upstairs, and he doesn't need to see you naked."

The prince giggled, soon finding a pair of slightly-torn, blood red boxers and sliding them up his hips. "These are mine~ Now I just need to find everything else~"

"Yeah, especially cause I borrowed this crap from Byakuran," Fran said in a flat voice. "He'll be pissed off if he finds out you lost the suit..."

"Think I can pass off my boxers as the suit?" Bel asked, looking out the window, a cheshire grin on his face at what he saw out there.

"No?" Fran replied, soon walking over to the prince, jaw dropping when he saw the prince's suit all slung out over tree branches outside. "Damn, we shouldn't have come back to our villa. Stupid pineapple juice makes us act all weird," he muttered. "Whatever. Let's go get it..." The two left the villa, soon moving to collect their clothes, enjoying being able to be outside in their boxers without anyone judging them. Fran easily got Bel's clothes back to him, softly cursing the author for her mind as he climbed back down the tree, and ignoring Belphegor's confusion at the comment.

With Bel dressed and Fran proud to be in his boxers and just carry the dress and high heels he'd worn the previous night, the two headed home.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at the base..._

"Don't get all excited about it," Hibari muttered, watching the forever-interesting Varia Headquarters ceiling. "Mukuro wanted me to wear the dress, and I don't know what's best for me. I was at Xanxus and Squalo's wedding, so I know you can find me something that will make me look good for Mukuro while still maintaining the dignity I have left. And I want you to be discreet about all of it... we're eloping after all."

Lussuria gave a small nod. "I know, dear. And don't worry, I can help you with that. When are you two marrying?"

"The ninth - his birthday," Hibari murmured, closing his eyes. "It seems only appropriate."

"It is," Lussuria agreed, smiling. He stood from the dining room table, reaching out and mussing the other male's hair a bit. "Relax, Hibari. You'll be absolutely beautiful when I'm through with you - as if you aren't _now_, hehe~! Not my type, but the tsundere Japanese is quite cute~," he considered as he headed into the kitchen.

Hibari gave the tiniest hint of a smile and rolled his eyes, before gasping, an aura appearing behind him. Immediately, he swung a tonfa around, hitting the other male, and rather easily sending Mukuro to the ground. "H-how long were you there?!" he protested.

"Long enough," Mukuro replied with a snide smile, standing again. "Did you really think you could surprise me, Kyouya?"

Hibari stood, then suddenly lunged forward, pinning the illusionist against the wall. "One of these days, I _will_, Rokudo. And when I do, I'm going to make you the happiest illusionist alive, damn it," he snarled.

"What's going on here?" Squalo asked as he barged into the room to find the two males all smushed up in a wall. "Are you two fighting or some crap?"

"No. Kyouya's just frustrated because he knows he's incapable of surprising me," Mukuro purred, leaning in and pecking his lover's lips.

"Sod off, damn pineapple," Hibari growled, reaching up to pull at the illusionist's hair.

Squalo sighed, sitting at the table. "If you want to surprise that _thing_ (he gestured to Mukuro), you better knock him out first."

Hibari shrugged. "That seems reasonable," he agreed, ignoring the following sigh from Mukuro.

"Hey, guys! Have you seen Bel and Fran?" Byakuran asked, skipping into the room and dragging Shouichi in with him. "They've got our clothes."

"... Pardon?" Squalo replied, quirking an eyebrow.

"My blue dress and Byakuran's suit," Shouichi explained. "Those two were wearing them this morning-"

"Do you have any idea how freaking stupid you sound?" Squalo asked, before balking as Belphegor and Fran walked into the kitchen wearing only their boxers and carrying fancy clothes over their shoulders. With a laugh, Squalo shouted, "Do you babies have any idea how freaking stupid you_ look?"_

"I'm guessing about as stupid as a few nights ago when you were playing Twister with Xanxus and accidentally kicked him in the crotch?" Fran suggested, shutting the Rain guardian up.

"Oi, babies, what the hell are you in your panties for?" Xanxus growled, shoving past Bel and Fran to get to the table.

"Did boss just say the 'p' word?" Mammon asked Lussuria, who shrugged.

Thus began another normal day with the Varia.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

;-; I know it's not much for the wait, but I'm struggling to fluff around with everything for a bit, since plot doesn't really happen until later with this story. Accepting requests for pairings/scenes! X'D

Review or be bitten to death~!


	12. The Daily varia, at Noon

**A Royal Child**

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

"You _what?!"_

"How many times need I say it, Froggy? I can't help it if I like it!" Belphegor protested, cheeks stained crimson as he tried to get the DVD back from Fran.

"No way, senpai, we have so much cheesey fluff without adding this sort of mentality to our relationship. This, senpai, this is _wrong!"_ Fran announced. "When were you going to tell me?!"

"I'm telling you now!" Belphegor whined. "Just give it back, please?"

"Senpai, calm down," Fran said, placing a hand on Belphegor's shoulder. "We need to take you to a professional about this."

_Five minutes later, in Lussuria's room..._

"So Bel has a yaoi addiction?" Lussuria said with a hum. "Poor thing. I know how that goes."

"Yeah, and I found these DVDs in our room," Fran said. "Some crap called Junjou ***censored for copyright***, ***censored for copyright***-less, and Sensitive** *censored for copyright***."

"Oh dear, this is worse than I thought, some of those have the hardcore stuff in them!" Lussuria sighed. "All right, Bel. Let's try the tests," he said, moving to a shelf and getting out a few sheets of paper. Setting two down, he held one up and opened it, revealing an ink blot. "What do you see here?"

"Two guys holding hands," Belphegor said.

"A cake," Fran answered.

"All right...," Lussuria said, setting that paper down and holding up the next.

"A lemon!" the prince answered excitedly, his nose starting to bleed.

"I think it looks more like an pear, honestly," Fran said flatly, before chuckling a bit. "Ha! Get it, a pair? Pear? Pair? Get it?!"

"Next..."

"Ooh! Ooh! It's a guy wearing cat ears!" Bel announced.

"It's toast!" the illusionist tried.

"All right," Lussuria sighed. "This isn't good. Bel has been completely absorbed by the magical rainbows of yaoi, and you, Fran, keep answering with food items."

"What's wrong with that? I didn't have my breakfast! Bel ate all of it right off my plate and distracted me so I couldn't defend myself!" Fran complained.

"_Anyway, _I have no choice but to hypnotize Bel out of his yaoi addiction," Lussuria said sagely. "If that's all right with you, Fran."

"Well, I guess so, yeah. I don't want to find any more of that weird stuff in our bedroom," Fran mumbled, folding his arms. "Keep in mind I was straight once upon a time."

"Once upon a time before the_ 'princely boy type'_ was invented," Belphegor snickered, soft giggles escaping him as he squirmed. He watched, then, as Lussuria picked up a pocketwatch and held it in front of him.

"You are getting very sleepy..."

"Luss, we're trying to break his addiction, not put him to sleep!" Fran complained.

"Oh! Right," Lussuria agreed. "You are losing the memory of yaoi now, Bel... all of the magical fluff and lemon scenes are now draining from your mind..." Belphegor's expression slowly relaxed, and he tilted his head to the side a bit, watching as Lussuria swung the watch in front of him. Finally, it stopped, and Lussuria whispered, "How do you feel, hun?"

"I feel... I f-feel..." Belphegor suddenly looked up, eyes wide. "I feel like going and climbing into women's bedrooms and playing with their panties!"

_"WHAT?!_**_"_ **Lussuria and Fran both shrieked, before Bel suddenly ran out, laughing madly.

"L-Luss!" Fran snapped. "I told you to break his addiction! Not hypnotize him straight!"

"I'm sorry, Fran-chan, I didn't know that would happen!" Lussuria protested. "We need to catch Bel-chan before he does something he'll regret!"

"Do you think he'd really go bust into women's rooms and do... all that?" Fran asked. "He's not fifteen."

"I know, Fran-chan, but his brain is. That's just how boys, especially spoiled brat boys deprived of attention, are," Lussuria clucked, ignoring Fran's glare at him. "What we _really _have to worry about is the idea of him sleeping with women!"

_"No!"_ Fran gasped.

"Getting obsessed with breasts!" Lussuria shrieked.

**_"NO!_"** Fran shouted.

"Making 'that's what she said' jokes!"

"Actually," Fran interrupted. "I kind of like those. But none of the other stuff! And Xanxus help us if he goes homophobic on us all!"

"Bel-chan as a homophobic murderer would kill us all!" Lussuria screamed.

**"VOOOI!"** Squalo shouted, bursting into the room. "LUSS! I THINK BEL IS WEARING YOUR UNDERWEAR ON HIS HEAD! HE'S WEARING FREAKING PANTIES!"

"Those can't be mine, I cleaned out that drawer last week in favor of other women's underwear!" Lussuria protested. "Particularly this one thong-"

"Arrrgh, my _eaaaarrrs!_" Fran whined, slapping his hands over his head. "I'm too young for this!"

"_Voi_, Fran!" Squalo said, suddenly grabbing both of Fran's wrists and pulling him close. "Bel's acting more psychotic than usual and Lussuria seems keen on scarring you for life..." He leaned in close, his nose inches from Fran's. "Know what that means?"

"N... no?" Fran murmured, blushing a bit.

"IT MEANS YOU'RE VULNERABLE ENOUGH FOR ME TO GET PAYBACK ON YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!" Squalo screamed, before laughing obnoxiously and running away. "VOOI! XANXUS! I TOLD YOU I WAS MAN ENOUGH TO GET HIM BACK!"

Ears ringing, Fran groaned and muttered, "I'm gonna go find Bel."

"Sorry, Fran-chan," Lussuria whispered as he left.

The Varia hallways were as long and pointless as ever. Between a hypnotized, straight Belphegor, Lussuria in a thong, and Squalo trying to get revenge on Fran for the illusionist's previous fluster-the-long-haired-commander jokes, Fran didn't know what he couldn't stand most. On their own, each event might've been completely normal, but the teal-haired male wasn't at all used to having so many bad things directed at him at once.

Briefly, Fran wondered if this was what Levi felt like, before he remembered that towel racks named Thomas don't have feelings. Again, he paused. They'd really done a lot to change the classic Levi, hadn't they? Shaking his head, Fran moved on. He needed to cure Belphegor of his heterosexuality.

A mad giggling could be heard up ahead, and Fran immediately ran towards it. Bursting into the living room, what Fran first saw was Hibari and Mukuro. Noting the hand Hibari was holding over his mouth, Fran went pale. Was Hibari ushishi'ing?! Then Fran followed Hibari's gaze to a blond head of hair with women's underwear on top of it, and he facepalmed. "Damn," he muttered, moving to Belphegor and using tweezers to be rid of the offending clothing, before leaning in close, moving to capture Bel's lips, when a finger was placed at his lips.

"Silly Froggy," Belphegor giggled. "I'm straight now."

Fran's worst nightmare... had come true. And when Belphegor backflipped over the couch and ran away, Fran sank to his knees and groaned.

"Kyouya, may I comfort him?" Mukuro asked softly, and Hibari shook his head.

"I will." The ex-prefect walked up to Fran and knelt beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Get up, Fran." Fran glanced back at Hibari, then let the older male pull him up to his feet. "Now listen. Just because Belphegor is being an asshole doesn't mean you can sit and sulk," he said, looking the illusionist in the eyes. "Fight for what you want."

"That would be pointless," Fran said, shaking his head. "Thanks for the pitiful attempt at comfort, Hibari, but... Bel's straight now, I guess. I should... accept that."

"Well Fran, if you wear that outfit I loaned you...," Byakuran said, having been sitting on the couch the entire time. "Bel might think you're a woman."

"Byakuran, I know Bel. If he's straight now, there's one thing I need that I don't have."

"What's that?"

Fran patted his chest. "I'm flat."

"It's okay, Fran-chan," Lussuria cooed, having walked in moments ago and was now hugging the illusionist from behind. "I know, we _all_ sometimes wish we had-"

"Luss. No," Fran protested, to which the Muay Thai artist pouted.

"Why don't you just make an illusion of it?" Byakuran asked. Fran nodded.

"Good idea... Byakurina," he said, casting an illusion and giving Byakuran an overly-slender feminine body shape. The Sky frowned and leapt up, soon pointing an accusing finger at Fran. "That is _not _what I meant!" he shouted, voice overly-high now as well.

"Byakuran, I brought the cake..." Shouichi walked inside, and cocked an eyebrow at what he saw. "Byakuran, I have an older sister, and I can't say I appreciate you mocking women. I know they're crazy, but honestly... I thought you were better than that."

"It's Fran! He cast this illusion on me just because Bel's straight!"

"What? Why doesn't he cast it on himself?"

"I don't know, he's stubborn!"

Fran rolled his eyes. "You all suck."

"VOOOOI! WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF COSTUME PARTY?" Squalo shouted from the door. "LET ME GET MY RED HAT, OVERALLS, AND FAKE MUSTACHE!" He ran off, others staring at him in confusion for a fair amount of time, Fran slipping away in the awkwardness. He soon moved back to his and Bel's bedroom, sitting down on the bed and sighing.

"Oh, senpai...," he whispered, picking up the prince's diary of lessons and flipping through a couple pages. "You're such a maniac," he mumbled, shaking his head sadly.

_An hour later..._

"Froggy! Froggy, guess what!" Belphegor cried, bursting into the room suddenly.

"You have a harem? I know. You're a prince," Fran mumbled, curled tightly around a pillow.

"Nope! It was all a lie!" Belphegor announced, jumping up on the bed and dancing on it. "Ushishishi~ I got the underwear at a store. I lied and said it was for my daughter so I wouldn't be embarassed by their questioning looks~! Wearing it was surprisingly fun, but I'd rather wear yours!" Ignoring Fran's shocked glance, Bel continued, "Froggy, you can't make someone into who they aren't. I like yaoi, and I _love _you. I'm not crazy, really, it's good stuff! I even read a few of these things online... they're called fanfictions, and you wouldn't believe it! I think other people have the same problems we do!"

"Senpai, it's fiction. Fake. Even if it's mildly realistic to our daily happenings, such a thing as others knowing what the hell we go through on a daily basis isn't possible." He then threw a pillow into his lover's face and shouted, "The next time you decide to be straight I'm selling you to a host club!"

"U-ushishi, now, now, Froggy, no hasty decisions...," Belphegor snickered, backing away into a corner of the room. "I don't like the straight stuff~!"

"Well guess what?" Fran said, cornering the prince the second the option was available. "You might not be the only anime fan in this base, understand? You'll do well to remember that." Eyes fixated on his lover, Fran slowly stepped backwards out of the room, saying, "They're always watching, senpai."

"Who are?"

_"The fangirls."_

(And then the dream was over.)

Belphegor jumped, breathing heavily, and blinking in confusion when he saw a tub of melty ice cream in his lap, Fran constantly leaning over to steal spoonfuls of it. "What... where am I?" the prince asked, looking around.

"You fell asleep on the couch for your noon nap again, hun. It happens every day," Lussuria said from beside the prince, seemingly knitting a scarf.

"Oh yeah." Belphegor relaxed back against the couch and glanced at Fran. "Froggy, what's yaoi?" he asked, cocking his head.

"I don't know," Fran said, giving him a flat look. "Look it up on the internet or something."

Bel looked between Fran and the tub of ice cream, then whined, "I'm too lazy..."

"Did you have another creepy dream about anime?" Byakuran asked, glancing over his shoulder and pausing the video game he was playing with Shouichi.

"Yeah. Except I was in Fran's body... and all this weird stuff kept happening...," Bel murmured, to which Fran slapped him.

"Were you dressed as a schoolgirl? Were there tentacles?" Byakuran asked, to which Shouichi slapped him.

"I had a dream where I was Fran, once. I don't think he had any man parts, though," Mukuro spoke up, to which Hibari slapped him.

"I once had a dream where Bel was this big," Xanxus said, holding out his fingers to about five centimeters. "I stepped on him, and he stabbed my foot. And then Levi came over to me and told me he wanted to become a monk." Everyone gave him an odd look, before Squalo suddenly burst in.

"Vo- er- Mama mia! Am I a-too late for the a-costume party?" he shouted, wearing what seemed to be a Mario outfit.

And so, life continued as normal, even as the one in the shadows planned the Varia's demise.

**-End Chapter**

* * *

o.e Well! A lot of the old spirit in this one, eh? I didn't know what the hell I was writing half the time~! XD Thank you as always for your encouragement, everyone! :D I appreciate it to no end!

Review or Bel becomes straight!


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